"Here we are."
Cinder's voice was still cheerful as ever but it is quieter than before, trying to put her usual attitude despite the argument with the blond cowboy, pointing out at the two wooden doors that separates them from the bedrooms, "have a great night everyone," smiling in spite of her terrible mood as she ran forward without looking back.
The guards followed after her, leaving Guan Yu and Seth in front of their respective rooms, leaving themselves in silence of the sudden change in behavior; something that the elderly man took notice from his perspective nature.
"Are you well, young one?" The old warrior glanced at the boy beside him who simply stood still like a statue, not saying or moving a muscle, simply staring of where the little girl ran off to, "if your worried about the child, she is going to be fine, her emotions will sort themselves out," attempting to reassure his companion with deep comforting voice.
Blinking twice in a row before turning around to stare at him, "uhm..." Awkwardly letting out sounds, Seth did not know what to say other than nod to Guan Yu, his eyes looked at the bearded old man who is only smiling to him, "y-yes, thank you," timidly responding with shy tone.
Letting out a sigh of relief, he smiled reassuring again towards the boy, "good, good, I will speak with you later for the time being, knock my door if there is anything you need," kindly offering his service before opening the left door to enter his bedroom, leaving Seth alone to himself.
Watching the man he admired, closing the entrance of his assigned room, the boy averted his eyes to look at the door that is located directly in front of him; frowning while fiddling the crucifix with both hands, not sure of what he should do, only to finally mustered up courage to reach out and touch the door knob.
Turning it around, he pushed it open and entered inside, a scent of strong flower aroma lingers within his nostrils, forcing Seth to sneeze briefly when he stepped in with his shoe stepping onto red carpet, resulting his eyes to widen of the room his in.
The room was filled with various furniture and decorations that seemed to have come from different places. There was a large canopy bed in the center of the room with curtains and a beautiful headboard. The sheets were made of silk and the pillows were stuffed with down feathers. The floors were covered in a thick layer of red carpet that matched the color of the curtains.
There was a vanity dresser with a mirror that had a gold trim. The dresser itself was filled with jewelry and makeup items, indicating that a woman or princess occupied this room previously. There was a wardrobe that Seth assumed was used for clothing storage.
Nightstand was next to the bed with a lantern on it. The lantern was glowing softly, providing a warm, welcoming atmosphere that brightened the entire place. On the other side of the room was a fireplace with a mantle above it that had various trinkets and flowers on it. There was also a closet next to the dresser, which he figured was used for extra storage.
Very lavish and extravagant by the sight of it. Seth couldn't help himself in marveling at how beautiful and elaborate everything was as he slowly closed the door from behind, his mouth slightly opened in taking this from the change of scenery.
He stood there frozen with many emotions running through his mind: disbelief, wonderment, amazement, confusion, fascination, curiosity. It felt like a dream he didn't want to wake up from as he breathed out in awe of everything around him. The warmth and glow of the lantern light filled him with tranquility, while the smell of the flowers invigorated him.
Its so alien to him because in his entire life, he always lived in poor conditions with no luxuries that most people would take for granted, but for Seth, he couldn't even afford a single candle for the night as he always relies on scavenging for scraps and spare change if he gets lucky enough.
But this is beyond anything he has ever seen or experienced to see such luxurious living arrangements is just simply breathtaking for him, the sight was indescribable, becoming increasingly excited by all the different items and objects that he never would dream in seeing between his own eyes.
Stepping closer to the large canopy bed, Seth couldn't contain his wonder of cautiously moving his hand at the top of the sheet, feeling its texture for the first time, not understanding what it was made from but it was so soft, silky and comfortable for his liking. The boy could barely sleep without feeling uncomfortable from hard surfaces or the cold temperature at night.
Now he can sleep on something comfortable for once in his life after being forced to leave the church, almost wanting to cry from being overwhelmed by joy of this situation that he would never have believed himself to be in; something so unreal that it wouldn't be considered real by normal standards.
"This is..." Seth then climbed on the top of the bed and lied down on his back, "really amazing..." A big grin formed on his face while snuggling himself on the soft material, his heart was filled with warmth in feeling its softness of the bed he currently lie on.
Closing his eyes, Seth basked in the soothing environment and inhaled deeply before exhaling in complete relaxation, savoring the tranquility that he missed so dearly. It is difficult for him to describe the experience, but it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders he released.
Feeling the touch of his holy cross still within his grasp, he clutched onto it tightly as memories of the only happiest time in spending with the priest came back to him, wanting to bring that experience back to life and feel what he felt before. He hoped to experience such happiness and fulfillment in himself, like the boy he used to be.
Images of slender, old and shaved pastor with white and wrinkly but kind face as his grayed hair laid flat on his head and the way his eyes appeared was compassion. He had a broad nose that crinkled when he laughed and wore glasses that made his eyes look larger than they actually were.
Wearing full collared shirt and cassock, in one perpendicular scene; he and father knelt side by side towards altar of the Lord by praying in their local cathedral, murmuring their prayer together in dark lit room with only the flickering candlelight illuminating small portion inside the chapel . However, what really stuck to him of this memory is that the words they spoke.
Having forgotten the prayer, this memory brought him the invocation that he would repeat in times of despair like a mantra as a reminder that there are greater forces at work beyond mortal comprehension, ones that will provide hope and salvation when all is lost.
God who is always watching from above, he always believed in the goodness of his presence, his existence that shall bring hope and light to all of those who are faithful in him, to those who wish to repent for their sins and desires for the betterment of themselves and others.
"Oh Lord, hear my prayers on this blessed time. I humbly ask for your guidance and protection as I navigate through these dark days. I thank you for the blessings that you bestow upon me and for the opportunity to serve you in this life."
Saying it with clear and low voice, Seth felt his anxiety ebbing away as the words rolled off his tongue if it was second nature. He finally said the words he wanted to say, and it brought peace to his soul that he found he desperately needed. Clutching onto cross with tighter grip, his breathing slowed down and became more controlled.
The boy's body relaxed when his muscles unwound, the tension faded away like the wind, replaced by a sense of inner peace that brought a smile to his lips. Seth finally understood the importance of keeping his faith in this religion because its stress reliever.
He needed that type of reassurance from the traumas in being burned alive since he was baby until reaching eight years old, having not forgotten the screams of himself and the souls that are with him as demons scattered in the inferno was their domain, this experience that brought him immeasurable trauma of horrifying fear that had constantly plagued his mind.
In one instance, he saw dammed soul near his side who finally lost all sense of rational and humanity; causing the individual to transform into demon; realizing that these heartless monsters were once people like him, wondering himself why in all places God would create such horrible place?
Seth understands punishment but why that? Its so cruel that it boggles his mind to comprehend what he saw, so much fear and sorrow in himself that his unable to understand the reason of it. And yet, his adopted father explained him in details.
As mentioned before, many people have different but similar beliefs in a religion; in his case, Seth was taught that the almighty did not made hell but instead the result of favored, begotten and fallen angel that rebelled him who then became so resentful that Lucifer Morningstar shaped it in his own image.
In addition to the information, the more sin a person commit; the easier it is for demon to bring him or her in their clutches. However, Seth believes something different reason as he opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with clouded look of what is currently on his mind.
Believing that God is not responsible for such torturous place, it is rather humans who made it themselves from all their greed, hatred and anger they built up in their minds through lifetimes, accumulating them until they eventually snapped, leading them to become worse people than before.
It is however, never justified to make eternal hell for their sake, never justified of what is occurring in there, to forever punish a person forever if the almighty was indeed merciless and kind entity. Instead, he believes that regardless of karma, individual would just reincarnate until causality or destiny in itself have completed its course.
Relief was shown on his face because in ancient past, reports of people remembering some parts of their reincarnated selves is sign that its possibility to his own hypothesis, making him self that the divine entity is in fact; truly good in all aspects.
"If your listening me God..." Smile slowly dissipated into somber frown, "I want to say thank you for helping me to keep moving forward," pausing himself for moment, he continued on, "if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be here in the first place..." Tears begin to drip out from his cheeks.
Sniffing with sadness, "I know your busy and the mysterious ways you communicate with us, but I'm still glad that your around even if I can't see or talk to you," the boy let out a strained smile before sighing, "because I love you for being the only person that is been with ever since..." Continuing on while huffing, "your love and care are what drives me to keep pushing on despite how tough it is."
"And..." Baring his teeth with melancholy eyes, shaking terribly at his own recollection of memories, "and..." Unable to finish what he wanted to say, only able to let tears stream down from his eyes in which the boy attempted to wipe them away.
His insecurities were eating him from the inside. Seth closed his eyes, not knowing how to convey what he meant, not knowing if he's doing the right thing or if it will lead to his destruction, but he remember the encouraging words that the priest had told him about opening himself to God.
"The Heavenly Father is always forgiving and merciful no matter how cruel or evil a person is, his love extends to all who are willing to receive it for that is how compassionate our creator is. As change and reflection is what allows the Lord to heal our hearts and soul, for only by accepting the Lord's forgiveness can we be at peace and live without shame or fear of the past that we are not anymore."
Gulping nervously, he clenched his fists; ready to finally say what has been bothering him for the temptation was growing stronger than before as it almost consumed his mind, resulting Seth to make a decision, "and I want to know," a question he never dared to ask.
"Am I—"
