Dipak stood at the edge of Enaid and looked out at the Techie Stronghold, Bethany. He imagined that he could see the small boy playing there. He could sense him. He knew that Jacob had awakened. Why had it happened so young? Dipak lifted his hand and a few bright sparks shot from the tips of his fingers. 

“He isn’t your responsibility.”

Looking up at the shift of light that suggested where Gytha was in the trees above him, Dipak said nothing. This was a debate that he was tired of having. She was never going to understand the importance of loyalty to families. Human lives were just so short. He closed his hand around a spark that still floated in the air and felt its light snuff. Aleron, the boy’s father, had been snuffed just as easily.

The lines opened in his mind and he could follow Jacob’s family back. It wove in and out with hundreds of other families. Each family separate, yet interconnected. Then he hit the wall of his own birth and the lines pulled on him to go further back. Screaming, he clutched at his head and fell to his knees. Squeezing his eyes shut was a futile attempt to suppress the images, but it was instinctive.

Gytha’s arms were strong and lifted him against her. Her chest vibrated gently as she cooed to him softly and clucked intermittently. She combed his hair back from his sweaty brow with her sharp thin claws.  She separated the red and yellow locks carefully and began to braid them. As she was braiding, she slid bits of herbs and bark between the hair. The magic was subtle, but Dipak could feel its calming force reaching him.

Still he could feel the eons of time stretch and pull; calling at him past the wall from his previous selves. Breathing deeply he dug fingers into the braids. Gytha grasped his wrist and pulled his hand to her mouth. She bit him. The pain was sudden and intense; jerking him fully into the present. He wished he could bite her back, but he was too tired. Easily hefting him onto her shoulder, she moved back into Enaid. It was time to go. The forest was already moving, he could feel it.

“I can walk,” he said.

Gytha dropped him. Bouncing off the first branch, he earned a new bruise on his right side but he was able to catch himself before any other mishaps. He fell into a trot behind her and slid from Enaid into the mundane forest. They looked the same. But the change in the Mana was immense. How had the world forgotten what it was?

Dipak’s legs still felt weak. He let Gytha support him on one side while he leaned on an oak. The waves of time sickness were coming more often. He didn’t know what that meant. The pulling inside him felt as though he was unraveling. All the many selves were coming undone and were tangling up into a single knot at his feet. There was no sorting who he was any more.

“Raven,” he whispered.

Reaching his hand into the Aether, he pulled a single black feather from it. Gleaming as brightly as the day it had fallen from the dying wing and as soft as when he had first touched it…

“Dipak,” Gytha cautioned him, but he wasn’t sure against what. He brushed the feather against his lips lightly. Raven needed to be here with him now. A promise had been made. That promise needed to be kept. How was he supposed to do this without Raven? He had never been whole alone.

Looking down at the feather sitting in his pale hand, he was reminded how Raven had always said that he was the light.

“No,” he whispered as he closed his fist around the feather. In his thoughts he added, you are the light and I am the shadows.

Gytha’s cold claw traced down the edge of his face and then applied pressure to his chin. He resisted a moment, allowing her to draw a small amount of blood, before looking at her. She was not hidden now. It was not often that he could look at her and right now he wished that he couldn’t. There was pity in her eyes. What did she know of what he was feeling? By her own admission, she had never loved anyone the way that he loved Raven. She had once said that the closest she’d ever come to love was what she felt for him. Maybe being that empty was a blessing.

He tucked the feather away and as he did so, he pulled a small string that hung from the inside top, right pocket of his jacket; the black one rather than the blue or white. A small charm fell into his hand. It was a black, lumpy and misshapen thing. He wrapped the string around his wrist and tied it there. Then he reached into the Aether and this time his hand returned empty.

A moment later, the Aether folded and a black car rolled out. The engine hummed quietly. Pressing his hands against its side, Dipak compared the way it vibrated to the way Gytha did and smiled. Perhaps she had more in common with this beast then he was comfortable considering. That second thought changed the smile to something bitter. He opened the back door but before he could slide himself in, he heard his name called. He didn’t bother to look up. It didn’t matter who it was or what they wanted. This was none of their business.

“Wait,” Kamaitachi said as he wrapped his strong brown fingers over the top edge of the door, letting his long black nails screech across the glass of the window.

Dipak didn’t pause, he settled himself into the back seat. Following his lead, Gytha got in on the other side, settling in next to him.

“Enaid said I need to come. You’re sick. If there’s a fight, you can’t protect him.”

Dipak said nothing. Enaid sensed a battle coming. There had been a time when he could have laid down an army, but today was not that time. But why was Enaid investing in this boy? She never involved the fey in human affairs. Granted she never made an effort to stop him from doing so, but she had never assisted him before. Why now?

“Why does he matter?” Gytha asked.

“Enaid said we had to protect Jacob regardless of the cost.” Kamaitachi shrugged.

Dipak looked up at Kamaitachi, staring into his green eyes. Dipak sensed that there was something that Kamaitachi wasn’t telling him, but was he keeping this to himself of his own accord or at the behest of Enaid? It was then that Kyoka poked her little head from beneath Kamaitachi’s long black hair. The little weasel wiggled her nose for a moment before she sighed.

“Could the two of you fucking figure out how to get along and trust each other?” Kyoka asked.

Kamaitachi reached up and patted the small creature on the head without saying anything.

“We have to trust him!” she said.

“No, I don’t. We don’t know what was done to him. He doesn’t even know. He’s changing.”

Kamaitachi was speaking to Kyoka, but his gaze never left Dipak’s eyes which had changed from brown to red. He could feel the heat of his rage burning through him in pulses. He wasn’t even sure what he was being accused of. But Kamaitachi wasn’t coming to make sure that Jacob was safe from the Techies…

“Dipak will not hurt Jacob,” Kyoka said. The certainty in her voice pulled Dipak’s gaze and ebbed his rage.

Kamaitachi stiffened.

“He will know as soon as he sees him anyway,” Kyoka said.

Kamaitachi sighed and then nodded.

“He’s Raven,” Kyoka said.

Raven.

At first, the words had no meaning.

Raven.

The name just echoed in his mind.

Raven.

Then it exploded inside him.

Raven.

“You bastard!” he screamed.

His whole body turned red with his rage. Gytha grabbed onto him, digging her claws into his arms savagely in her effort to keep him in the car. But his body burst into a million motes of light and swarmed out to surround Kamaitachi like angry bees. Each time a light touched him, Kamaitachi's nerves alarmed that he was on fire. But there were no marks left upon the skin. Kamaitachi swatted at the motes and stumbled back from the car.

Dipak coalesced in front of Kamaitachi; hands clenched in fists down by his sides, head hung low and staring at the colored leaves strewn over the drying grass.

“How long?” Dipak whispered.

Silence.

“How long?” Dipak yelled.

“Since he was born,” Kamaitachi admitted.

“10 years,” Dipak said.

Silence.

He looked up at Kamaitachi, letting the tears fall. The water washed the red from his eyes and skin.

Raven.

Dipak had never met the son, Jacob. That’s how he had not known. He’d been so close. He had known the father since he had been a boy. He wondered if the son was like the father or if he was like the Raven he recalled. The father had been nothing like Raven. Could Raven change? Did it matter if he did? What if he didn’t like him this time?

He tried to remember.

Raven was real.

What did she look like? He? Dipak could see the hands. The fingers were too long and the palms narrow. Instead of nails, black claws. The back of the hands and each finger had ridges that cut horizontal lines. But then they flexed and the hands were smooth. Laughter from the other room.

Turning, he looked over his shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of Raven before she left the room. Cotton dresses gathered at her waist and fell down around her legs. Her hand grabbing hold of the door jam as she moved through, but he didn't see her face. No, his name is Jacob now and he doesn’t like wearing dresses any more. There are leaves floating all around him.

“Dipak?”

He turned away from the endless pasts and looked towards the voice, but before he could focus on the speaker he saw Raven again. Little Raven clutched against his keening mother. His grey hoodie smeared in blood. His large blue eyes stared up at the sky. They were empty.

Pain oozed across his vision, smearing the world in grey and purple. Weakly, he pressed his palm against his left temple. He stared at nothing in particular with dark eyes that reflected the black emptiness that he felt. He had never known fear. But now, as the walls that held up the boundaries of himself crumbled, he was afraid.

“We have to go,” Dipak said.

He did not wait for the others. He got into the car and touched the back of the driver’s seat to give the car its silent commands. He gave no attention to Gytha and Kamaitachi as they got in the car. Gytha sat next to him, pressing her hand onto his thigh. Kamaitachi got into the front passenger’s seat. Just before the car began to move, Amaterasu got into the driver’s seat. The others said nothing. Gytha assumed Enaid had sent her. Kamaitachi assumed that Gytha had called for support. Dipak was not aware of her.

They drove into the long, bumpy driveway and several dogs barked as they ran on either side of the car. Dipak could feel the waves of magic rippling from the house. The boy was strong. It would be difficult to hide him if the mother did not agree to have him taken to Enaid. She would have to agree to this. Her husband had died because of the magic. She feared it. Who could blame her? While she didn’t hate magic, she didn’t understand it either. Like anything else, that left plenty of room for fear.

Maybe he could live here with them. No, he was not a very good guard these days. The idea was selfish. Wanting to be close to Jacob had to be set aside if it would put him in danger. Would Heather let fey live here on the farm? Maybe Kamaitachi and Amaterasu? Gytha would stay with him. She always did.

The car came to a stop.

“Wait here,” Kamaitachi said.

Dipak nodded. Everyone seemed surprised by his response. Taking slow deep breaths, he tried to slow his slamming heart. Kamaitachi and Amaterasu got out of the car. Heather waited for them on the porch. Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, and her jaw tightened as she glared at them. Dipak watched as they approached and talked with her. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could see that they were not calming her.

She wrung her hands into her apron as though she were drying them. Dipak imagined that she had been washing the dishes after having cooked dinner. Perhaps Jacob was eating right now. He wondered what she had made. Maybe a chicken pie. The father had really liked those. He said that chicken pies were a little bit of heaven stuffed into a pie plate. Dipak didn’t really like them, but Jacob was probably eating one now since his father liked them so much.

Pressing his fingers between his eyes, he willed himself to focus. It didn’t matter what the boy was having for dinner! They needed to be sure that he was alright. He sighed. Those two were getting nowhere. What had the father said? “Flattery will get you everywhere, well at least with my wife.” It was time to try flattery and charm.

He got out of the car and was grateful that Gytha made no effort to stop or follow him. Instead, she did what she always does. Watching and waiting: she followed his lead and trusted him. He was glad that their trust had not yet been broken. But it would be. He was crumbling. It was only a matter of time before everything connected to him fell away simply because it no longer had anything to hold upon.

Feeling old and fragile, he forced himself to stand tall. Fatigue pressed down upon him, making keeping his stride even and fluid an effort he had to focus on. He wanted to burst into sparks and travel that way, but didn’t know how she would respond and he couldn’t be sure who was watching the house. There could already be Guntai here.

Be charming, he thought to himself. Imagining the father, he decided how he would approach Heather. He recalled the times that they talked while sitting on watches and while washing the blood from weapons. Speaking of Heather seemed to keep him sane. Seemed to remind him why he was fighting. Heather had not known she was pregnant then. Aleron had died without knowing he was a father.

Both Kamaitachi and Amaterasu turned to look at Dipak as he approached. Kamaitachi's ears perked up, his stance tightening with apprehension, while Amaterasu shifted her weight, her shoulders tensing as she stepped closer to him, her eyes widening with concern. Neither said anything. Both stepped aside and made room for him to step up onto the porch in front of Jacob’s mother. He took Heather’s hand in his long thin fingers and pressed his pale lips to the back of it.

“Heather,” he whispered. “Forgive them. They are eager to be of assistance, but they often forget courtesy.”

Heather blushed. He smiled, seeing in her a reflection of his friend. A few small sparks of light swirled around his face and shoulders. Struggling to hold himself together, he could not keep these few stray sparks within him. He straightened up and found that he was a little shorter than her. This was pretty common and he was accustomed to the surprise his petite frame caused humans. 

"I've come about Jacob," Dipak said.

Heather put her hand over her mouth and gasped softly.

“Please,” she whispered. “I can’t -”

Jacob took his mother’s hand and smiled up at her and Dipak as he stepped into the doorway. His eyes were large and blue. There was still so much light within them.

Raven.

Rushing wind pounding down by the force of strong wings and the clattering of hooves against the loose stones.

“You knew my dad?” Jacob asked.

“Yes, I did.” Dipak crouched down in front of the boy and ruffled his hair. He felt himself loosen and sparks skittered out from his wrist and hand. He was so tired.

“I would like you to come with me,” Dipak said.

“No,” Heather said. She clasped her son’s hand tightly.

“It’s ok, Mommy. This is, Horse.” Jacob let go of his mother’s hand and stepped close to Dipak. He pet Dipak gently on the nose with his index finger.

“What did you call me?” Dipak whispered.

“Horse,” Jacob said.

“I thought that was the name of your imaginary friend,” Heather said, clutching at her apron.

“No, he’s not imaginary! He’s right here!” Jacob said laughing while pointing at Dipak.

Nausea churned in Dipak’s stomach and his vision began to dim.

“Why did you call me that?” Dipak asked.

“Because that's your name. We were friends once. But I died and now you’re sick.” Jacob looked up at his mother with serious eyes. “And we have to help him get better.”

Raven reached out and stroked Horse on the nose again.

The lines stretched out and unraveled. His name. What was his name? His name was Horse. How could he have forgotten that.

“Raven,” he whispered as he reached out and gently touched Jacob on the cheek.

Because his hand was outstretched, the bullet caught him in the armpit rather than the shoulder. He made no sound. His eyes closed and he slumped to the floor. Red quickly painted the white coat.