Spring 4995, 14 Buromoth 

"Would you stop fidgeting, Grandmaster?"

Veon-Zih closed his eyes and uncrossed his arms, forcing the muscles to relax. He took a deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. When he opened his eyes again, it was to see Velona standing between him and the tinny Mages Guild office in Ryukyu village, purposefully blocking his view of the door. The Master Monk took his face in both hands and leaned forward to rest her shaved head on his.

A part of him instinctively wanted to pull away from the intimacy, or at least glance around for any possible observers to this perceivable impropriety of a Monk of his Monastery. Seventy years of sworn celibacy was a hard habit to break. 

Instead, Veon-Zih arched an eyebrow at her, though she wouldn't be able to see it with her forehead pressed against his, and asked, "What are you doing, Master Velona?"

She grinned and shrugged, "It seems to work for our students, so I thought I would give it a try."

That made him chuckle despite his lingering worry for those same students. Veon-Zih reached up to take her hands off his face, but not because he felt embarrassed anymore. Let the villagers talk. Let it reach the Monastery. He was a Grandmaster now. If any of them didn't like this mild show of affection, they could take it up with him... Personally.

Veon-Zih lifted Velona's fingers to kiss their calloused tips. "Thank you," 

She smiled, closing her eyes, then shook her head against his. "You knew the day would come. That he would have to go back to Clearhelm eventually." She opened her eyes again, dark brown, like rich soil. Beautiful. 

He sighed, squeezing her hands for a moment before letting them go and stepping back from her, "Yes. But I always thought someone would be with him. Me. And after... Lily." 

"He wasn't alone. He's part of a proper team now," Velona said, glancing over her shoulder towards the Mages Guild.

Veon-Zih huffed, also focusing on the door, "The same team hunting Lily..." He nearly missed the woman's jaw tightening and pulled his eyes away from the door again, whispering, "I'm sorry." Velona must be worried out of her mind, though she didn't show it.

Master Velona shrugged. "I don't like the idea of her being alone, but I'm not worried about them taking her in. If Lily doesn't want to do something, there is no one capable of making her..." she trailed off. There was one person that might manage it.

Veon-Zih growled, "I don't know what he's thinking. But we'll find out when they get here." 

And finally, the door opened. 

The first through was a tall man dressed in the gray and purple of Saint Giorgos. He looked to be in his late forties and sighed in relief at the sight of the two Monks, "Grandmaster Veon-Zih? Master Velona?" He asked, then stepped aside for the rest of the team to file out. An elderly Mage, with a thick head of hair and strong back despite his obvious age; a woman in the tight leathers of a Druid with dark skin and close-cropped hair; a ratty-looking man who huddled into his cloak and cursed at the cold; another female, barely a woman, in the robes of a high ranking Cleric of Soleil; and finally...

"Shon." Veon-Zih nodded to his student, clearing his expression as best he could. A memory of Shon at eighteen, just after his denial, flashed before his eyes, then faded, leaving the older version behind. Veon-Zih had seen Shon wall off his emotions before, it was his nearly constant state of being for five years after the vigil, but even at its worst, it hadn't been this bad. 

Velona managed to bow to the group, but Veon-Zih clenched his fists tighter than necessary. He brought his hands up, forcing his left open to rest his right fist in its palm, and bowed to the group's Paladin leader.

Ryuuko let out a happy twitter and took off from Shon's sword pommel, the stone a blue so dark it might be mistaken for black except that Shon's hair was darker. The pseudodragon circled the Monks, then landed half on each of their shoulders, nuzzling first one cheek then the other.

Veon-Zih managed to relax enough to stroke the little lizard but focused on the Paladin and painted a grin over his face. Better that they didn't see his concern. "Colonel Tristen, I presume?" he said, "I received your missive yesterday and heard from my old friend General Rasnah. I'm not sure what further help I can provide, but whatever it is, I give it freely." 

Sir Tristen gave them a formal bow, "Thank you, Grandmaster, and Master Velona, I-" But Velona interrupted him,

"Shall we discuss this out of the cold perhaps?" she smiled at the lot of them, and the shadowy man huddled in his cloak exclaimed, 

"Gods... I think I might marry that woman!"

Velona and the Druid snickered while the Cleric gasped, and Veon-Zih chuckled, "Good luck with that one, Mr..." He smiled towards Shon, "Perhaps you might introduce us to your companions, Shon?"

Normally Shon would've run his fingers through his hair at the prodding. This time he merely nodded to his master, then started at the far end, giving each of their ranks and names. "Sir Tristen of Saint Giorgos, Archmage Ranito of the Mages Guild, Druid Ebonwing of the Grove of Cathbad, Staff Sergeant Oswall of the Temple of Horsa, Vicar Alena of the Church of Soleil." His deep voice was a monotone, and Veon-Zih couldn't see his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to.   

"Well," Velona bowed to the group again, then gestured down the road, "There's a warm tea house this way. We can get out of this cold and talk there."

She led the way, and Veon-Zih clasped his hands behind his back, sidling up to his student as the pair trailed behind the rest. Now that he was closer, he could feel the knots of clogged and frozen ki in Shon's energy centers. It wasn't something anyone but a Monk might notice, but Shon should know better. 

"You're going to make yourself sick, blocking off your energy like that..." Veon-Zih led.

Shon took a while to respond but eventually shrugged.

Ryuuko flew back from Velona's shoulder to land on Veon-Zih's head and chitter at its human.

"I know it was hard, Shon. Going back there after so long avoiding it..." Veon-Zih tried.

Shon nodded. That was something at least. 

Too bad for Veon-Zih, the tea house wasn't that far away, and they reached it before he could say anything more. 

*** 

Velona opened the door to the teahouse, but Sir Tristen took it from her to hold open for the rest. It was a traditional Oane teahouse, with floors made of woven reed mats and cushions you sat on before low tables. This time of year, they still had the thick blankets that came out from the table's sides for the customers to drape over their legs and keep warm. 

Oswall was the first to sit and stick both his legs and hands under the table and blanket, "I've heard of these. Damned heavenly." 

Ebonwing laughed and took the seat next to him on the same side of the square table, "Damned... heavenly... You don't see a problem with that description?" 

Ranito ignored both of them and peeked under the blanket, asking, "Does this one have a heater?"

"They come with heaters?" Oswall asked, and the man looked like he might cry for joy. 

Veon-Zih managed a laugh, walking with Velona around to the opposite side of the table from Tristen and Ranito, "Not this time of year, I'm afraid. Not cold enough anymore." 

The grown man, a soldier of Horsa, who valued strength above all else, whined. 

"Saint Giorgos's divine drive... give it a rest, Staff Sergeant." Sir Tristen snapped at Oswall. 

Oswall sat up at the use of his rank but huffed, looking away from the Paladin and keeping his hands below the blanket. Velona could imagine the rude gesture the man must be giving his commanding officer beneath the concealing fabric and smiled. Though it was wiped away again at the strained look in Veon-Zih's eyes as Shon sat down, pushing the blanket under the table, so he was the only one outside its warmth.

She grabbed Veon-Zih's knee under the table and leaned over to whisper, "You told me before that this is normal. He doesn't need it and would just chill the others..." 

Veon-Zih sighed and nodded. Taking her hand, he leaned down to whisper back, "Yes, but I've never seen him so shut off before. And that's saying something, considering..." She squeezed his fingers under the blanket in understanding. When they'd first reunited, she'd noticed how much Shon had blocked himself off. But then she'd seen him after they'd left him with Lily for a few months... He'd been almost normal. The way he'd been when Velona had first met Shon -as a teenager in training before the vigil. Now? Now she was surprised he was still able to walk and talk. He seemed dead inside -his ki forcefully frozen- like an ice sculpture given movement, but not life. 

Veon-Zih was doing an amazing job of hiding his distress at his student's state of imbalance. She knew Shon was like a son to Veon-Zih, and doubted her own composure by comparison, considering that this was the group hunting her Lily...

"Alright. What do you need from me, ladies and gentlemen?" Veon-Zih asked, much more bluntly than usual. Maybe he wasn't as composed as she thought...

Sir Tristen cleared his throat, "As you know, we spoke with General Rasnah yesterday and received her verbal and written reports of the Warlock incidents in Clearhelm. However, it was you, Grandmaster, who did the fieldwork for that, and as such, we thought it beneficial to get your first-hand account as well." 

Velona waved down the teahouse's proprietor and ordered a pot of green tea for everyone while Veon-Zih told the story they had all already heard. He did make a point of giving more details on the individual Warlocks afterward, though, "The first woman, the one Lily named Shaloon, had eyes that changed color. At one moment, they were blue, then when I got close again, they were red. And the smuggler had a noticeable tick. He twitched, and the twitching grew faster the more distressed he became. He also spoke as if he needed to translate the words in his mind before saying them out loud." 

Velona closed her eyes to breathe in the steam of her tea but said, "The two we faced in Halakon were strange as well."

Beside her, Veon-Zih nodded, but before he could elaborate on her point, the young Cleric, Alena, said, "Halakon? We didn't hear about any Warlocks there..." 

"It was about forty-five years ago, Vicar," Velona explained. "At this point, you would get a more accurate report by reading the written one from back then instead of trusting in our memories." 

Veon-Zih nodded again and continued, "She's right. But I do remember that one of them carried around a stuffed toy... a bear, I think?"

"Might have been a rabbit..." Velona suggested.

The fact that they couldn't remember proved their point, but Veon-Zih finished anyway, "And the other one was constantly pulling on his ear."

The Mage, Ranito, was writing in a ragged-looking notebook but nodded as Veon-Zih finished, "Some visible signs of possible insanity."

"But just because someone has a tick doesn't mean they're insane, and certainly doesn't mean they're Warlocks," Alena argued, "They might just be normal people, if a bit troubled."

Ebonwing shrugged, "But if we hear about possible Warlock activity, we can at least keep an eye out for people showing such signs in the area."

"Don't worry, Cleric Alena," Sir Tristen said, "just because we watch someone with such signs doesn't mean we will take them in without probable cause or true evidence."

"Unless it's Horsa land..." Oswall muttered, and Velona was surprised to hear the disapproval in the Temple man's voice. 

Alena paled and looked to Tristen and then Shon, as the Hengist rep, for support. 

Tristen opened his mouth, but Veon-Zih cleared his throat pointedly and rapped the table in front of his student. Ryuuko whistled and nipped Shon's ear. The man didn't flinch, but he did look up a fraction and say, "Even then." he turned his head towards Alena and finished, "we won't."

Velona shivered, though not from cold. If anything, Shon seemed to be radiating less cold than usual. No, it was the flatness in his voice. Shon was in trouble. Was it guilt? For taking a job hunting Lily?

Veon-Zih sighed and addressed Sir Tristen again, "Did you need anything else from us?"

The Paladin shook his head but then looked at Velona, "Not from you, Grandmaster." Velona tilted her chin up in acknowledgment and clenched her teacup, but then Tristen turned to Shon, "Master Sergeant, could you go reserve our rooms? I believe I saw an inn down the street. I'll brief you on the interview with Master Velona this evening."

"Sir," Shon answered, then stood, heading for the door with Ryuuko on his shoulder. 

Veon-Zih watched him for only a moment then stood as well, saying, "Well, if you don't need me, I would like a word with my wayward student."

Sir Tristen nodded to Veon-Zih, though the Monk wasn't seeking the commander's approval. But as Shon left and Veon-Zih neared the door, the Paladin called, "Thank you, Grandmaster..."

Velona tilted her head in curiosity at the shame in his tone, and Veon-Zih turned to arch an eyebrow at the Paladin.

Tristen swallowed, looking down at the table, "I made a mistake in forcing him to come with us to Clearhelm..." 

Alena snorted and looked pointedly away from her leader while Ebonwing and Oswall fiddled with their cups, and Ranito took notes. Veon-Zih shook his head and said, "Maybe. But it was bound to happen eventually." all those sworn to a god flinched at his word choice.

Veon-Zih left the tea house, and Velona finished her tea. She put the cup down and stated more than asked, "It's Lily, isn't it?"

Ranito spoke first, "You have spent the most time with the Firewyrm. What can you tell us about her?" 

Velona smirked at the Mage, "Well, I can tell you she doesn't like being referred to by anything but her name. If you want to stay on her good side, and you do, I highly recommend you remember that."

"You trained her?" Alena asked.

Velona nodded, "Yes, for six years. Since she was around seventeen -though we don't know her exact age- until a few months ago when I retired."

"Great," Oswall muttered, "So we're dealing with a Monk with firepower."

Velona shrugged, "More or less. She isn't a true Monk. She was my student but never an apprentice."

"Why?" Ranito interrupted, "Do the Monasteries not take Sorcerers?" 

Velona shook her head, "That wasn't it. Being loyal to an individual is one thing, but she didn't want to swear any oaths or vows to an organization. She never joined the Mages Guild either, only ever working as an ally." 

"What's the difference?" Oswall asked with a shrug, "A student or apprentice, she still has Monk training. Like Shon."

"Yes," Velona answered, "Except that my Monastery specializes in weapons. Lily is a Sorcerer first and foremost, but even if you negate her fire, she is an accomplished staff fighter on the same level as an Immaculate Monk. And if you do negate her magic, that will only make her angry, something I highly recommend you avoid."

"You understand why we need to take her in?" Tristen asked. 

"Not really." Velona answered, "I understand that the kingdom and Guild are afraid of what she is and of her power. But she earned her clearance, and I know she would rather be helping you than running from you." 

Ebonwing raised her hand before speaking, "Then why are you talking to us at all?"

Velona sighed, picking up her empty cup to twist in her hands. "Because nothing I tell you will help you anyway, and I want to impress upon you the foolishness of this endeavor. She is strong and capable and would be an ally to your cause if you let her. But if you really want to take her, you'll need to use extreme force, and if you do that, she won't hold back." Velona looked up and took her time meeting each team members' eye before she continued. "Lily won't try to hurt innocents and will even help them, if it isn't too inconvenient. But she isn't some noble hero. She doesn't care about anyone she hasn't claimed as her own and won't lose sleep over any bystanders that might be caught in the crossfire if she's protecting her own or staying free." 

"Claimed?" Oswall asked.

But Ranito was the one who answered, "Her 'treasures'..."

Velona nodded to the Mage, "That's what she calls her friends." 

"And no one else matters?" Alena asked.

"Not if it costs her freedom or friends," Velona answered. 

Tristen rested his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together before his mouth. When he spoke, it was under his breath, "She is a dragon..."

No one answered. Finally, Velona stood, "She is Lily. An individual, just like the rest of you. You don't all hold the same priorities or moralities as each other, and neither does she. It's part of what makes you unique, strong, and beautiful. I'll say it again. She would help you if you let her." 

Tristen sighed and also stood. Bowing to Velona, he said, "Thank you for your assistance, Master Velona. But we have our orders, I have orders, and I can't disobey them." 

Velona nodded and returned his bow with right fist in left palm, "I do understand, Sir Paladin. I just hope that in the time it takes you to fulfill them, they might change." The others began to climb to their feet, and Velona forced herself to smile at them. Oswall, in particular, grumbled as he left the warm blankets.

Once they were all up and ready to go, she turned for the door, saying, "We should hurry. Just in case."

Alena rushed forward and actually took Velona by the elbow, "Why? What's wrong?"

Velona pat the distressed Cleric's hand. She really was very young, maybe eighteen or nineteen. Velona explained calmly, "I'm afraid Master Veon-Zih is going to need to reteach his student an important lesson, and considering how stubborn Shon is, we may need your assistance."

Alena and Ebonwing passed Velona out of the teahouse to look for Shon, but Oswall just dug through his pockets and pulled out a pack of rolled smokes, asking, "How stubborn is he exactly?" 

"As a glacier," Velona answered.

*** 

Veon-Zih didn't press Shon to speak until after he reserved six rooms at the local inn. After he finished, though, the Monk grabbed the big man's shoulder and steered him back outside and down a side road that would lead towards a field where the local stables let their horses graze.

"Where's Lily?" Veon-Zih asked, not bothering to go in gentle.

He watched Shon's sword pommel. It swirled and lightened ever so slightly, and Shon himself answered with a shake of the head. Ryuuko nipped his ear, and Shon answered, "I don't know." 

"Why not?" Veon-Zih asked. 

"She wouldn't tell me." 

Veon-Zih backhanded his student in the chest and Shon flinched. The Monk had put some ki in the tap and aimed right for the big man's heart chakra, knocking some of the energy he was using to shield his emotions free.

"Don't make me fish for details, Shon. Talk to me." Veon-Zih ordered while Ryuuko whistled in approval. 

Shon kept his blank eyes forward but answered, "She wouldn't tell me because she didn't want me to have to lie when the kingdom asked." 

"So you separated after you both learned the kingdom wanted her. On good terms, I assume?" 

Shon nodded. 

"And now you're hunting her..." Veon-Zih prompted. 

Shon didn't answer, and they walked together into the empty field, the snow finally starting to melt. Unlike in Clearhelm, it would be gone in a week or two. 

As Veon-Zih stopped in the middle of the field, Shon finally said, "I don't want to fight you, Master." 

"Then don't," Veon-Zih answered, "talk to me. Sir Tristen and Rasnah both told Velona and I that we are to keep your past with Lily a secret from the rest of the team. Why?" 

"It's supposed to be confidential," Shon said, looking away.

"I just said as much." Veon-Zih countered, "Why?"

Shon shook his head, "Not just that..." He looked back towards the village. Towards his commanding officer. Veon-Zih waited, and finally, Shon whispered, "I won't help them hunt Lily. Sir Tristen knows and ordered me to keep it confidential."

"You-"

Shon finally met Veon-Zih's eyes. They looked blank. "Lily asked me to join the team. But I gave the king and council an ultimatum. I will only hunt the Warlocks and will stay out of any attempt to take in Lily. That, and my relationship with her, are to remain confidential."

Veon-Zih sighed, "Well, that explains a lot, including why Sir Tristen ordered you out before questioning Lily's Master. Velona will be relieved. But Shon, that can't feel good... Working with those trying to imprison your wife? Even if you're not helping directly."

Shon's sword swirled a bit lighter, "She isn't my wife." 

"Last I checked," Veon-Zih countered, "You both wear a ring with every intention of being together forever. And last I heard, she didn't care that the Temple denied your request and you were going to keep trying." 

"Together..." Shon whispered. He clenched his left hand into a fist, and his sword lightened further. But then he took a breath, and it darkened again as he brought up his shields from the emotional pain. 

"Don't do that," Veon-Zih said, his voice low, "I know it hurts, Shon. It's supposed to. You can't block the painful emotions without also blocking the good ones."

When Shon answered, it was in a flat voice, "What good ones?" 

Veon-Zih growled, "Try love? Or drive? Passion? All of which you'll need to finish this mission and get her back."

"It's better this way."

"You can't function like this!" Veon-Zih practically shouted.

"I'm functional." Shon countered.

"Really?" Veon-Zih exhaled, relaxing every muscle and locking his eyes on Shon, "Prove it." Then he rushed his student.

Shon managed to dodge the first punch and deflect the second, but the third took him in the chest, over that same energy center, and pushed him back five feet, his boots making groves in the snow and soil. Ryuuko took off with a surprised squawk.

"I don't want to fight you, Master." Shon managed to gasp out, though he took a solid stance, raising his hands in preparation for another assault. 

"Too bad." Veon-Zih spat and rushed again, double stepping to strike at Shon. He blocked two punches once more, but Veon-Zih pivoted around him and kicked him across the back, at the level of his diaphragm and another energy center. Shon rolled with the blow and was back on his feet and facing his Master in a moment. 

"You're still my student, and you need another lesson," Veon-Zih stated. He held his hand out to Shon, palm up, and curled his fingers, "Don't hold back, because I won't." And he attacked again.

***

Neg found them and reported the location to the team. Oswall walked behind the others with Master Velona while Alena, Tristen, and Ebonwing rushed to the field's fence and froze, their jaws falling open. Oswall blinked rapidly, unable to believe his eyes. Even those few blinks were enough to miss some of the attacks the Grandmaster was leveling at his student. Velona took the spot beside him, but Os couldn't look away, his smoke falling from his lips, forgotten.

He'd never seen moves so fast, and yet Shon seemed to be blocking at least most of them. He had taken a low and solid stance, his feet unmoving despite the pressure his Master put on him. 

"He's deflecting two of every three..." Velona muttered. 

"How?" Ebonwing breathed, but the Monk just shook her head,

"He should be able to negate four of every five." She sighed, "And it looks like he knows exactly what Veon-Zih is going for." 

"And that is?" Tristen asked.

"Should we stop them?" Alena asked. 

"No," Velona answered the concerned Cleric, then explained, "Shon has blocked off his emotions and with it his ki, his life energy. Master Veon-Zih is trying to break down those blocks."

"But-" Ebonwing started.

"It isn't healthy," Velona interrupted, "our energy is supposed to flow freely through the body, pooling in areas along the centerline. In his effort to control his emotions, Shon has frozen his. Veon-Zih doesn't want to physically harm Shon more than necessary, but he will if he can't get past Shon's defenses otherwise. Believe me, in his current condition Shon would already be out if this was a real fight."

"What do we do...?" Alena whispered.

To Oswall's surprise, Velona looked to him, "Do you happen to have a bow?" 

"Crossbow," he answered, and she nodded.

"Shoot him." 

"What?!" Oswall's voice cracked. 

"Trust me," Velona said, "Even if you do manage to hit him, there are three healers in your party, and a single shot won't bring him down." 

"I'm a very good shot..." Oswall tried to argue, but she just looked back at the fighting pair. 

"Good. Then aim for his head."

Oswall blinked at her in disbelief, but Tristen chimed in, "Do it, Staff Sergeant." 

"What?!" Alena and Ebonwing exclaimed in unison. Ranito never looked away from the fight, his pen moving furiously across his notebook.

Tristen narrowed his eyes at the fighters and answered, "I don't know how we can help him, but they might. Have faith."

Oswall shook his head but took his heavy crossbow out of his bag and rested it on the fencing as ordered. He hadn't gotten to know Shon much in the two weeks they'd been working together, but he still didn't want to see the man dead. "You're sure?" he asked Velona.

"Very." she said, "We need to break his concentration. Just a second will give Veon-Zih an opening."

Oswall exhaled long and slow through pursed lips, then took aim and pulled the trigger. 

The bolt flew straight and true. And Shon caught it.

One moment he was facing his Master. The next, his hand snapped up, snatching the bolt right before it could sink into his neck. A single drop of scarlet blood flowed from the tip. 

"He's slow..." Velona whispered while the rest marveled at the speed of the move.

Then Veon-Zih struck again, first in the ribs below Shon's raised arm, then with an open palm in his belly and another in the groin, making them all flinch. The Monk stood solid, his arms outstretched, while his student was pushed back a full ten feet before dropping to a knee.

Shon growled, the pommel of his sword swirling and turning a cloudy sky blue. The same shade as his eyes. Which now burned with anger. 

"Finally," Veon-Zih's voice floated to the party over the silent, snow-covered field, "You're as stubborn as ever. I know it hurts, but it's better this way."

"What do you know?" Shon snarled, then kicked off the ground and attacked the Monk. Veon-Zih blocked nine out of ten blows, including several kicks, but Shon didn't slow, "Everything I've ever wanted. Everything I've ever worked for has been denied me."

Veon-Zih grunted with the force of his student's blows, and Shon's sword grew transparent, the color draining further. Shon raged, and ice shot out from each boot fall on the muddy ground. "I dedicated my life, my soul to a god who takes everyone willing and able. Everyone but me." Veon-Zih managed to block a kick to his head, but the blow still pushed him back, and Shon followed it up with a trip. "Then, when she accepted me, they take-" the Grandmaster jumped over the sweeping leg and landed his own kick on Shon's jaw, stopping his rant short.

"She?" Oswall asked, but Velona just shook her head. 

Shon spat out a wad of blood and possibly a tooth, breathing heavy and growling low, his deep voice still carrying, "You chose to step away. To go without her." 

Beside Oswall, Velona stiffened.

Veon-Zih sighed, "I'll take your anger if that means you're feeling again."

"I don't want to feel," Shon practically sobbed, his shoulders sagging, "It's better to be numb..."

Alena whimpered, and Ebonwing took her hand. 

Veon-Zih glanced over at them, met Tristen's eyes, nodded, and in the next blink was behind Shon, landing another palm strike on his back, sending him rolling forward. Shon didn't manage to fully stand again before his master was before him and hit him not once but more times than Oswall could count. Then the big man was down again. Flat on his back in the ice and snow.

Ryuuko whistled and flew down to land on his chest, which was blessedly still moving. 

"Let's go," Tristen said, but instead of going around or over the fence towards Shon, he turned his back on the paddock and started for the village. 

"But..." Alena started.

"Tris?" Ebonwing asked.

The Paladin stopped but didn't turn, "He is our companion, and he deserves his privacy and our discretion. Let's go."

Velona rested a hand on Oswall's shoulder, "Thank you." 

Os swallowed but managed, "He caught it..."

The Master Monk smiled, "It's one of the first things young Monks learn. Remember that." 

Oswall put his crossbow away and sighed, "I'm glad he's on our side..." 

"You won't find a more stalwart ally." 

Ranito snapped his book shut and finally spoke, "Assuming he doesn't kill himself in combat." 

"Don't," Alena snapped at the Mage, but Tristen barked, 

"Fall out, that's an order."

Velona vaulted over the fence, and the team followed their leader. Oswall reached for his smokes, but his fingers were shaking. He finally managed to get one lit when they reached the inn, and Tristen stopped before the door. 

The Paladin turned to face the rest of the team and squared his shoulders, "We leave in the morning." 

"But Shon-" Ebonwing started,

"He'll catch up when he's done here." Tristen took another deep breath and continued, "I don't know how long this mission will be. Months? Guaranteed. Years? Most likely. Decades? It's possible." He looked around and met each of their eyes, "As a member of this team, it is your job -your duty- but it isn't your life. I expect you to take leaves of absence, as many as you need. For yourself or your family. You will file the request without hesitation, and I will do my best to fill it just as quickly. I will not have any of you killing yourselves over this mission. That includes Shon. His Master can take care of him for a few days, perhaps help heal some of the damage I caused in my foolishness."

Alena took in a sharp breath, then stepped forward and took Tristen's hand in both her own. She looked into his eyes, "Thank you, Sir Tristen, of Saint Giorgos." 

The Paladin actually blushed, pulling his hand free slowly. Alena let him go, but Ebonwing stepped forward next and slapped the man hard on the back, "Maybe you're not as bad as I thought, Tris." 

Ranito passed them all and opened the inn door but said, "A good leader looks out for his subordinates."

Ebonwing and Alena followed the Mage in, and Tristen looked to Oswall, who continued to puff on his smoke, asking, "Decades, huh?"

Tristen nodded, "These Warlocks have been working in hiding for millennia..."

Oswall shrugged and flicked his butt into a nearby snowbank, "It's a steady paycheck at least." 

That made Tristen smile, "You already got a steady check, Staff Sergeant." But Oswall just shrugged again and followed the others into the inn. 

***

Shon dreamed of Hamerfoss...

It was snowing out his little window, but Shon didn't get out of bed. Instead, he curled onto his side, his back to the door, and squeezed his eyes shut. 

Ryuuko twittered and flew around the tiny room, stopping to scratch at the door, then pull at Shon's hair. Back and forth, back and forth. Shon didn't move. 

His master had aimed true. Striking at each of his energy centers in a line from his heart down to his root, and though he didn't destroy Shon's carefully built walls, he'd damaged them.

The door opened with a hiss, and Shon curled tighter. 

"I know it hurts..." The man in white said, reaching out to stroke Shon's head. 

Shon smacked the man's hand away, "Don't touch me." 

The man sighed, and Shon could hear him pull the chair away from his desk and sit down, "It's temporary. Like everything in life, this too will change. But what it changes into is up to you..." 

Shon didn't answer, but when he heard papers rustling, he turned to see the man flipping through one of his journals. That had him on his feet in an instant and snapping the book away before Shon could remember that this was a dream and those weren't his real journals. 

The man in white looked up, Ryuuko hissing from his shoulder, but he didn't look angry or even shocked, just sad. "You have the power to create your own future. If you would just accept it..." 

"There is no future without Lily." Shon snarled. His head started to pound, and he reached up to cover his eyes as the vision began to fade. 

Blackness engulfed him again, and the man's voice sounded as if it came from the far end of a long tunnel, "That depends on both of you... you both have the power..." 

***

Shon woke up on an Oane mattress spread out on a mat floor of woven reeds. He blinked at the bright ambient light shining through the white paper walls and tried to sit up, but flinched as he was stabbed with sharp pain from cracked ribs.

"Don't sit up too fast." Master Velona said from his right.

"It's past noon. We'll have to start soon if you want to finish drills before dark," Veon-Zih contradicted from his left.

"The team?" Shon asked.

A chink of porcelain as Master Veon-Zih set down a teacup, "They left this morning." 

"This morning?"

Velona leaned over his face and examined his eyes, "You've been out for a little over twenty-four hours." She explained. 

Ryuuko twittered its dragon giggle, and Shon groaned, finally sitting up, slowly, and gripping his side. 

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Veon-Zih asked. 

"Yes," Shon answered, though if he meant his ribs or his heart, he wasn't sure.

"Good." Veon-Zih said, "Pain is important. It's a signal of our limits and keeps you alive."

Shon squeezed his eyes shut, "I'm sorry, Master..." 

"For what?" Veon-Zih asked. 

"Everything," Shon answered. 

Veon-Zih reached out and shook Shon's shoulder, making him flinch at both the touch and the movement, "No, Shon, that isn't the right answer." He shook Shon again until he met his Master's eyes. Veon-Zih lifted a finger to shake in Shon's face. "You can be sorry for blocking yourself off and risking your life, you can be sorry for what you said in your anger, but that's it. You can not be sorry for trying to protect yourself or for trying your hardest at everything you do. You can not be sorry for loving Lily enough to join this team despite their secondary goal. And you can not be sorry for trusting me before or now. I know you blame yourself for too much. We've gone over this before, but everything is not your fault, and I will never regret taking you as my student. As my son." 

Shon didn't know what to say. For a moment, it seemed like his Master had read his mind, as it often did. But no, they had gone through times like this before. When he dipped into dangerous depression and unforgiving self-loathing. Shon didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything, merely bringing up his legs to cry into his knees. A grown man hurt and broken but surrounded by people willing to pick up the pieces and glue him back together, cracks and all. 

"Lily..." he managed once he got control of himself. 

"Will be fine," Velona said, reaching over to pat his back but flinching at the cold. She breathed out, steeling herself, and tried again, continuing, "You know better than anyone how strong she is. That's what won her over in the first place, you know."

Shon nodded, then lifted his head to look at the ceiling of the Monk's tiny house, "I wish I could be with her..." 

"I bet..." Veon-Zih said, smiling at his student, "that she wishes the same. And yet, I also believe that whatever it is she's doing will help you both. Just like what you're doing will." 

Shon nodded again. He believed in her at least. He had to. "Yes, Master."