The USS Placid has been assigned to escort the civilian transport R'Naisse to planet Zeta-15, also known as Opuni Vedal, where a team of dedicated archaeologists hope to locate a mysterious, legendary object. We were not given much in the way of details, but our captain may have the opportunity to learn more; she has been invited aboard the transport for some sort of pre-celebratory reception. None of the other officers were invited, but perhaps they'll be more generous with their invitations once they've found their precious relic. –Not that I'm bitter, but I like parties, and Captain T'Pin doesn't, so neither of us are happy.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Commander, your assertion implies that my objection to attending the reception is based on emotions rather than logic.
Captain, you're not meant to comment on my log.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Indeed. However, in your official log as executive officer of my ship, I expect you to maintain a factual account, rather than carelessly conflate my reasoning with your emotions.
Fine, I'll rephrase. –Captain T'Pin has stated that attending the party would be an unprofitable waste of time. It's also a fact that she would not derive enjoyment from such an occasion. I, on the other hand, would derive significant enjoyment from interacting with new people in a relaxed setting. I've never partied with Caitians before; the experience could be enlightening.
[VULCAN MALE] Captain, you could request that the commander be permitted to accompany you.
[VULCAN FEMALE] To what end, lieutenant?
[VULCAN MALE] She may be able to glean information through socializing that we would not otherwise acquire.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Logical—but academic, as the commanding officer and executive officer should not both be absent from the ship while in potentially hostile space.
Two counterpoints: one, we're barely on the same local star-map as the Neutral Zone; and, two, this is my log, not the ship's recorder.
[VULCAN MALE] Would it not be easier to record your logs in the privacy of your quarters?
You'd think so, but so far–
[VULCAN FEMALE] It is time for my departure. Commander Becker, the bridge is yours.
Bye, captain. I hope the party is boring and terrible, and that there's nothing good to eat.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Your attempts at humor do not vex me, commander. I should return within two standard hours.
[...] Captain's Log, First Officer Becker recording. My first order as acting captain is that no one is allowed to interrupt my log. Understood?
Good. Now, as I was saying...
...I have no idea what I'd meant to say before Captain T'Pin interrupted me.
Oh, well. En–
[EFROSIAN FEMALE] Commander, the transport vessel has changed course.
What?! What's their new heading?
[EFROSIAN FEMALE (2)] Eighty degrees starboard of our present course. Nearly perpendicular to their recorded flight plan. Should we pursue?
Hold on. –Bridge to Transporter Room. Len, did the captain already beam over to the R'Naisse?
[ANDORIAN FEMALE] Yeah, about ten seconds ago. Why?
Lieutenant, sound Yellow Alert. –It appears that the archaeologists are absconding with our captain.
[[THE FOLLOWING IS FROM THE SHIP'S RECORDER. THE RECORDED PARTIES' NAMES HAVE BEEN ADDED AS ATTRIBUTIONS AFTER THE FACT.]]
CMDR BECKER: Lieutenant, open a channel to the R'Naisse.
LT SYLEK: I've hailed them, sir, but they are not responding.
CMDR BECKER: Navigator, course and speed?
LT ON'XIN: Heading unchanged. Speed increased to warp factor 3.
LT EL'AZ: That's impossible. Those transports can hardly manage warp factor 2.
LT SYLEK: It is not only possible, it is indeed probable that the R'Naisse has been modified to enable higher speeds.
LT EL'AZ: But they're not built to exceed warp 1. They'll shake themselves to bits if they keep it up.
LT ON'XIN: R'Naissse has reached warp factor 5.
LT SYLEK: Based on my earlier supposition, it follows that they would also reinforce the–
CMDR BECKER: Sylek, see if you can break through, preferably to a ship-wide channel.
LT SYLEK: Yes, sir.
CMDR BECKER: Helmsman, put us on a parallel course and match speed.
LT EL'AZ: Yes, sir.
CMDR BECKER: Good. –Tadi to the bridge.
LT ON'XIN: Commander...
LT EL'AZ: Do we really need them?
CMDR BECKER: I hope not, but we have no idea what the R'Naisse's intentions are, so I'm erring on the side of caution.
LTSJGTADI: Reporting as ordered, sir.
LT EL'AZ: Ugh. They're even holding hands.
LT ON'XIN: Shh.
CMDR BECKER: Read me, reply out loud. –Take turns, please.
LT JG IAZANA TADI: Ship out of range for direct reading, sir.
LT JG NIVESSA TADI: Impressions of anxiety at our pursuit, and... regret?
LT EL'AZ: Minimal damage, sir. Shield integrity down 3%.
CMDR BECKER: Tadi, swap in. –You okay, 'Xin?
LT ON'XIN: I'm fine, commander.
CMDR BECKER: Man the security station and hold on tight. –Sylek, do we have a channel?
LT SYLEK: We have a channel, but–
CMDR BECKER: This is Commander Lois Becker of the Federation starship Placid, calling the R'Naisse. You have abducted our captain and attacked our ship. We will continue our pursuit until you return our captain and give answer for your unprovoked attack on our vessel.
LT SYLEK: I cannot be certain that your message has been received.
LTSJGTADI: We can!
LT CMDR LENNOS Security to Bridge. Did those nerds fire at us?!
CMDR BECKER: Yes—and we have to be fiendishly careful not to hit them back too hard. –Iazana, doable?
LT JG IAZANA TADI: Propulsion too closely linked with other functions to guarantee captain's safety.
CMDR BECKER: Promising. Stay on them, dodge or deflect.
LTSJGTADI: Yes, sir.
CMDR BECKER: Sylek, find me another channel.
LT SYLEK: They may not hear you, sir.
CMDR BECKER: That's okay. I still want to yell.
First Officer's Log, Supplemental:
We have pursued the R'Naisse to a system too close to the Neutral Zone for comfort. The transport landed on an M-Class planet with the designation Gamma-D, evidently their goal from the start; the Federation may not have permitted an archaeological expedition so close to the Neutral Zone, so they may have misrepresented their target—but I still don't know why they took the captain. Clearly they didn't wish to be pursued, yet they must have realized we would pursue. I can only conclude that their purpose on this planet somehow requires Captain T'Pin, though whether as a Starfleet officer, a Vulcan, or an individual I cannot begin to guess.
I intend to join the rescue party along with our security chief. Our engineering chief will have the conn in my absence.
[VULCAN MALE] Commander, request to join the rescue party.
You're learning very poor logbook etiquette from the captain, Sylek.
[VULCAN MALE] Commander...
You have 15 seconds to convince me.
[VULCAN MALE] I am in excellent physical condition. I would be an asset in subduing the captain's captors.
We have no shortage of physically fit men. Ten seconds.
[VULCAN MALE] I can use my telepathic senses to locate her.
So can the Tadi LJGs. Five seconds.
[VULCAN MALE] I am responsible for her.
We're all responsible for our captain.
[VULCAN MALE] She is my wife.
...Request granted, but we're going to finish this conversation later.
[VULCAN MALE] Thank you, sir.
Also, next time you interrupt my log...
[VULCAN MALE] Sir?
...I'll figure it out when we get back.
[VULCAN MALE] Very well, sir.
Ugh. –End log.
[[THE FOLLOWING IS FROM A TRANSCRIPT OF THE RESCUE MISSION LOG. THE RECORDED PARTIES' NAMES HAVE BEEN ADDED AS ATTRIBUTIONS AFTER THE FACT.]]
CMDR BECKER: Logan, how far ahead are the Caitians?
LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN: No more than fifty yards, sir.
CMDR BECKER: How's the captain's condition?
LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN: Unconscious, but uninjured.
CMDR BECKER: Any luck with the transporter?
LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN: Negative, sir. They have some sort of ionization field covering the site.
CMDR BECKER: If that changes, beam up the captain immediately. Becker out. –Len, what's your take?
LT CMDR LENNOS: Split up, have one team create a diversion to cover the rescue.
CMDR BECKER: Love it. I'll be on the diversion team—I'm not done yelling at those guys. Sylek–
LT SYLEK: Commander, I request–
CMDR BECKER: Yes, you can join the rescue team. –Len, divvy up the rest.
LT CMDR LENNOS: Kerrigan, you're with Commander Becker. Tanar, you're with me. –C'm'on, Sylek, show some hustle.
CMDR BECKER: Ideas for a diversion, Kerrigan?
OFF KERRIGAN: Recommend we charge out with phasers at the ready and cover you while you yell at them, sir.
CMDR BECKER: Beautiful. Once Len's group is in place, we'll make some noise.
OFF KERRIGAN: Sir, while we're waiting...
CMDR BECKER: Really, Kerrigan?
OFF KERRIGAN: I thought you should know that the security team has a pool on you.
CMDR BECKER: Come again?
OFF KERRIGAN: Just friendly nonsense, sir.
CMDR BECKER: What are you– nope, never mind, better not to know.
OFF KERRIGAN: I'll put a stop to it if you like, sir.
CMDR BECKER: If it ever starts to affect the team's performance, cut it out. Otherwise I don't care.
OFF KERRIGAN: Are you sure–
LT CMDR LENNOS: Rescue team in place. Over.
CMDR BECKER: Showtime!
OFF KERRIGAN: Hands up!
CAITIAN GUARD: Intruders!
((The guard fires wildly. Probability of hitting diversion party improbable. Rolled 18 - does not hit.))
OFF KERRIGAN: Get down!
((Kerrigan fires at the guard. Using ship stats, Weapons 7 + Security 3 = 10, rolled 5 & 11 - success. Caitian guard is stunned.))
CMDR BECKER: All right, you sons of kittens, why'd you take our captain?
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: You don't understand! We needed a Vulcan from an ancient bloodline!
CMDR BECKER: One, that's an insane thing to say. Two, was the kidnapping part necessary?
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: We couldn't make a formal request without alerting our people. They don't understand the significance of this discovery.
CMDR BECKER: So you've gone rogue. Good job, you've pissed off the Federation.
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: It won't matter once we unlock the Romulan vault! –M'Bass, do it now!
LT CMDR LENNOS: Freeze!
CAITIAN M'BASS: Too late, Andorian!
((M'Bass presses the unconscious captain's hand to a petroglyph of a humanoid hand. Probability of this opening a hidden vault = Probable. Rolled 7 - yes.))
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: Ha! and they scoffed at me when I postulated that a Vulcan from an ancient bloodline would be able to open a Romulan vault! Now cower before the might of this secret armory!
LT CMDR LENNOS: Sylek, don't–!
((Sylek springs out and takes a swing at M'Bass. Fitness 10 + Medicine 2 = 12. Rolled 2 & 14 - success. M'Bass is knocked back.))
LT SYLEK: The captain has been secured.
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: Fools! Kneel before me and beg for mercy, for I have... I... have... Oh, no...
CMDR BECKER: Sylek, what's in the vault?
LT SYLEK: A large quantity of decaying organic matter, commander. It appears that the captain's ancient bloodline has opened an abandoned food storage.
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: No... no, it can't be! They wouldn't have constructed such an elaborate vault just to store vegetables!
LT SYLEK: The evidence suggests that they did.
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: But– but they even set up an ionization field so the contents couldn't be transported out!
CMDR BECKER: Must've been some great vegetables.
CAITIAN ARCHAEOLOGIST: No... all my work... all my glorious plans...
CMDR BECKER: Lennos, arrest these idiots. –Sylek, need any help carrying the captain?
LT SYLEK: No, thank you, commander. I am perfectly capable of carrying her for the return journey.
CMDR BECKER: I believe you. –Becker to Placid. We have the captain and are on our way back to the beam-down point.
LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN: Well done, commander.
CMDR BECKER: Let Sickbay know the captain needs a once-over as soon as we're aboard.
LT CMDR MCLAUGHLIN: Aye-aye, sir.
First Officer's Log, Supplemental:
The Placid is en route to Starbase 10 to drop off our prisoners and their modified transport, the latter presently in tow.
The rogue archaeologist is inconsolable about the contents of the vault. I tried to find out what she intended to do if there had been a super-weapon, but none of the Caitians will speak to or even acknowledge me. It seems that my "sons of kittens" crack was not well-received. I'll make a note to avoid further attempts at humor. That should please the captain—or at least she may find it gratifying.
...For the love of... Come in.
[VULCAN MALE] Is this an inopportune time, commander?
What this is, lieutenant, is a perfect example of why it doesn't matter where or when I record my logs.
[VULCAN MALE] You could pause the recording, sir.
I'd rather have a record of the difficulties of being the first officer. –Who's in the corridor?
[VULCAN FEMALE] Pardon the intrusion, commander. You had requested further information regarding the relationship between Lieutenant Sylek and myself.
Have a seat, captain. –Not you, Sylek. You're on probation for cutting in on every log I've made today.
[VULCAN MALE] I understand, sir. I will reflect upon my actions and strive to prevent recidivism.
Good. Now, tell me: how long have you two been married?
[VULCAN FEMALE] We are not married in the strictest sense of the word.
Fine. Tell me about your not-marriage, and why you called the captain your wife.
[VULCAN MALE] Captain, I used the term for expedience, with the understanding that I would provide a clearer explanation later.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Understandable. –We have been bound to one another since we were seven years of age. It is a solemn betrothal which can only be broken through a complex ritual.
I think I get it. Sylek, did you join Starfleet to stay close to the captain?
[VULCAN MALE] Commander–
Honestly, it's none of my business. I withdraw the question.
[VULCAN MALE] Thank you, sir.
I assume you'd rather not broadcast your relationship to the crew as a whole.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Correct. We have agreed that this information has no bearing on our duties aboard ship, and that widespread knowledge may have an adverse effect on my authority as captain.
It's entirely up to you. I won't share this information without permission from you both.
[VULCAN MALE] We appreciate your discretion, sir.
Now I see why you were so desperate to join the rescue party—and why you punched that Catian right in the face.
[VULCAN FEMALE] I was told only that Sylek had subdued one of my captors. –Why did you engage in a physical confrontation, rather than let the security team take care of it?
[VULCAN MALE] I believed that my responsibility as your mate necessitated direct involvement in retrieving you. I used hand-to-hand combat techniques to avoid any risk of friendly fire at close quarters.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Then why did you not use a nerve pinch to incapacitate th–
Captain, lieutenant, kindly resolve your pre-marital disputes elsewhere so I can finish my log in peace.
[VULCAN MALE] I will leave at once, sir.
And don't– Wow, he's a quick one.
[VULCAN FEMALE] I shall depart as well.
One moment, captain.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Do you have further inquiries?
Just one. You said you don't remember anything between the moment you beamed to the R'Naisse and the moment you woke up in Sickbay, right?
[VULCAN FEMALE] That is substantively correct.
I'm quite envious of that, sir.
[VULCAN FEMALE] I fail to see how a prolonged period of unconsciousness is desirable.
Well, sir, everyone knows that the best parties are the ones you can't remember the next day.
[VULCAN FEMALE] Ah. Humor.
You're a terrible audience, captain.
[VULCAN FEMALE] My apologies. I will leave you to complete your log.
Thank you, sir. Goodbye.
[...] I don't actually have anything else to log. I just wanted to make sure neither of those two had the last word.
