Once they were a ways away from the mean little people, Nathaniel set William back down on his own feet. "Are you alright?" he asked gently.

"Yeah. Thank you," William said breathlessly. He was still breathing hard and his heart was still racing, but it was getting better now that they were through that nightmare.

"Well we have another hedge row and more choices," he said, pointing ahead.

There were three visible openings in the high hedge at the base of the hill, and they each looked the same with no hint as to where they may lead. 

"I'm too tired to decide," William sighed wearily, "what do you think?"

"You said to keep left," Nathaniel reminded him, " so let's take the far left passage."

"Excellent thinking, my friend."

"Keep going, Gigantor!" one of the Muppets yelled as a potato whizzed past them.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going," William waved a hand at them as they started towards the left hand opening in the hedge. "I'm definitely ready to get the hell away from here."

The hedge-lined corridor went straight for awhile before opening out into a small clearing. On the far side, there were actually two doors set into the hedge with large brass knockers in the shape of ugly goblin-like faces, knocker rings held in their tusked mouths.

"Which door do we take?" Nathaniel asked.

"Mphk rss," one of the faces tried to say something around the ring in its mouth.

"Let me take that out for you," William offered, pulling the brass ring out of its mouth with some difficulty. "How's that?"

"Oh! That is so much better! Thank you, my friend."

"Now what were you trying to say?"

"I said that you can ask one of us," its eyes rolled towards the other knocker on the other door. "But I must warn you that one of us always lies, and one of us always tells the truth."

"Which one of you tells the truth?" William asked.

"Er, we can't tell you. It's against the rules." the knocker said apologetically.

Nathaniel pulled the ring out of the other knocker's mouth. It said, "One of us leads to the Wizard, and the other one leades to..."

"Bu-bu-bu-bum..."

"Certain death!"

"OKay, answer me this:" William said to the first knocker; "Would the other one tell me that this door leads to certain death?"

"Uh..." it seemed to think hard about the question for a moment, "yes?"

"Ha! Then this door leads to the Wizard!"

"How do you know?" it asked, "I could be lying."

"But then he wouldn't be, so I know the answer is no."

"But he could be lying."

"Then you wouldn't be, so I know the answer is still no."

"Ooh, you're a smart one," the knocker said. "Second riddle..."

"There's more than one riddle involved?"

"Of course! You can't have just one," it said as if it were obvious. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

"Seriously? That's not a riddle. That's a tongue twister."

"It's also a riddle. What's your answer?"

William thought furiously about it for a few minutes before coming to a conclusion; "A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

"Correct! Now finish this proverb: "A man who stands on a toilet..."

"Gets high on pot?"

"Correct again! You may now choose a door to go through."

"Okay, so open up."

"That's not the way it works."

"Then how does it work?"

"Knock, and the door shall open," the knocker intoned formally.

"Okay, open up then so I can put the knocker ring back in."

"Uh-uh. I don't want that back in my mouth." it frowned, clamping its mouth closed.

"Come on, you're a door knocker. It's what you're supposed to do," William pleaded.

"It's uncomfortable. You try it and see."

He thought for a moment before offering, "I'll take it back out as soon as I knock, okay?"

"Mmm... okay." It opened its mouth to accept the ring and allow William to knock. 

The door swung open, and William dutifully removed the ring once again, setting it carefully on the ground outside of the door in case someone else needed to negotiate these doors.

"Thank you," he told the knocker as he went through the door.

Once they were through, the door swung shut on its own and slammed shut with a loud, echoing boom that startled the three companions, making them jump. It was dark in the passage here; anything could be lurking in the shadows.

Cautiously they made their way down the corridor, keeping a hand on the hedge wall. Then they came out into a room with a ceiling far above, a fancy chandelier hanging from the center and lighting the entire room.

A throne-like chair rested on a dais in the middle of the room, upon which sat a man dressed in velvets and silks, looking like a monarch lording over his territory. The top hat was adorned with a pair of goggles resting just above the brim, and he was swinging a pocket watch around in circles in one beringed hand.

"Greetings,," his deep voice resonated through the room clearly, "I am the Wizard. It seems that you have been tenacious enough to finally find me."

Benched, couches, and loveseats were spread around the room, and all looked exceptionally comfortable. "Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable."

Exhaustedly, William dropped onto a nearby couch with a tired sigh. He was completely worn out by his travels and the misadventures he had endured to get to this point. As he sank into the overstuffed couch, it was difficult for him to keep his eyes open.

"I believe that it is time for you to go home," The Wizard said. His voice was smooth and soothing, making William's eyes close as he sunk into a deep sleep without trying.