Rage! (Iliad I)
Table of Contents
Recap and Status 1. "Epic Hotness Countdown" 2. "To the Victor Go the Spoils" 3. "The Concubine and the Prince" 4. "Don't Smite the Messenger" 5. "Patron of the Mice" 6. "In the Beard of Agamemnon" 7. "The Routine" 8. "Men Are Such Fools" 9. "Achaeans, Assemble!" 10. "Agamemnon Himself" 11. "Something Happened" 12. "Alternate Plans" 13. "Errand-Girl" 14. "Speaking with Authority" 15. "That Time I Spoke and Everyone Ignored Me" 16. "To Olympus by Chariot" 17. "Nostos" 18. "The View from a Distance" 19. "The Water Bearers" 20. “Here Today, Here Tomorrow” 21. ”Strategic Thinking” 22. "Embers of the Mind" 23. “How the Evergreen Lost Its Leaves” 24. “Tears of Strength and Resilience” 25. “The Strong Man and the King” 26. “The Aether Speaks” 27. “Something Holy and Immortal” Weekly Chapters Every Sunday1. "Epic Hotness Countdown"
Centering Calliope,
Muse of Epic Story:
The calls come in.
The phone lines flash.
I press the broadcast button,
live-streaming to the mortal world:
"Rounding out the list
of this week's most-requested epics,
Witchy Woman by Apollonius of Rhodes
falls three spots to Number 5;
These Arms of Mine by Virgil
sails to the Number 4 position,
knocking Hesiod's Gotta Be Startin' Somethin'
out of the Top Five for the first time in a century;
Changes by Ovid
holds steady in the Number 3 spot;
while this week's biggest riser,
jumping three spots to Number 2,
is Stanky Legg by Homer; and
retaining the top spot
for the hundred and forty thousandth week in a row,
Rage!
Homer's classic song about Achilles,
son of Peleus and Thetis,
whose fatal anger
dispatched many brave warriors to Hades's realm,
leaving their bodies
as spoils for dogs and carrion birds.
"Isn't that lovely?
"This week, the Caliope Channel is pleased to present
an unplugged cover of Rage!
recorded live in our studio,
high atop Mount Helicon.
"This rendition features
Agamemnon on keys,
Far-Shooting Apollo on the bass-lyre,
the vocal stylings of Briseis and Patroclus,
Hector providing counterpoint,
the percussive genius of Odysseus,
a backing orchestra of thousands
and our frontman,
Achilles,
bringing the song's eponymous fire.
"Rage! begins now.
"Enjoy!"
Author Commentary:
An author commentary for this installment is available to subscribers of the free Mythoversal Newsletter.
EPIC CYCLE ROADMAP:
* The Kypria* The Iliad
* The Posthomerica
* Tales of Nostos
* The Odyssey
* The Telegony
* The Aeneid
Rage is the first book of the Iliad. Amazons is the first book of the Posthomerica.
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