Emilia glanced across the room. It had been 4 days since she got her new roommate, Allison. “Well Alli, normally, agents would be able to go home until they are deployed again, but…”
“You don’t need to explain, I actually bothered to read the contract. I’m pretty much under house arrest. Either way, I’m not really close to home anymore anyways, I think.”
“Well, that’s true. On the bright side, your background check was good. You start training and all that fun crap later this afternoon.”
“Uhm, Ems, it’s 2:45 in the afternoon, I start the training in 15 minutes.”
“Oh, well, you’re finished getting ready, right?”
Allison groaned. “Emi…”
“I thought I told you not to call me that!”
“No, you specifically said ‘ugh, Jesse calls me that’. That’s not saying no, even if it is an obvious disapproval. In any case, I’m ready, YOU aren’t.”
“Huh”? Emilia returned a dumbfounded look.
“Emi, you’re supposed to be overseeing my evaluation! You’ve been sitting around eating muffins for the past 30 minutes in your fuckin’ duckie pajamas!”
Emilia glared at Allison and stretched out her hand. 1.4 seconds later, a small Gatling gun had assembled itself from somewhere along the length of her right arm. It was now aimed directly at Allison’s forehead. “You got a problem with the duckie pajamas bitch?”
“Where the hell did THAT come from?! And no, I have a problem with your apparent lack of care! We have shit to do!”
“So, you don’t have a problem with the duckie pajamas?”
“No, actually, they are kinda cute, and I wouldn’t mind a pair, but… wait… damnit get ready already!”
“Just…. 1 more thing.”
Allison groaned again. “Well, you’ve already got me at gun-point. What are your demands?”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me ‘Emi’.”
“And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t point a materialized, arm-spawned Vulcan at me. Where the hell did it come from? Is it loaded? Actually, where the hell do you keep bullets for that thing? Also, I’ll only call you that when I’m annoyed with you, so I’ll call you that as much as you give me a reason to.”
“Fair enough”. Emilia consented to the terms presented to her and the weapon on her arm concealed itself once more. “You owe me a new duckie pajama top. The gun destroyed the arm”. The right arm of Emilia’s beloved duckie pajamas was in tatters from halfway up the forearm.
“How many pairs of pajamas have you been through?”
“43. I just buy them like 5 sets at a time though.”
“So, you still have all the pants?”
Emilia nodded, “And most of the tops, though they are effectively useless when torn like this one.”
“Tell you what, you agree not to point that thing at me anymore, and I’ll fix those pajamas to be sleeveless. Also, I’ll take a couple of those old sets off your hands. I’m pretty sure I can make myself a set that fits.”
“You sew?” Emilia gasped.
“Well, yeah, though it’s something that probably isn’t covered in the evaluation. I could probably make something that can handle whatever transformation you did, assuming I know how it works, or at least how the weapon forms.”
“You can do that?!”
“I make no promises, but it is possible, in theory.”
“ALRIGHT! Let’s get going, you don’t wanna be late for your evaluation do you?”
“Does it really matter, since we’d both be late, or actually only you?”
“It matters if I mark you as being late” Emilia teased.
“There’s no winning with you, is there?”
“Oh, no, there’s no winning with Michelle. Never play a game against her… ever. Your best bet against her would be a game of chance, and even then, she’s got the statistics running in her head.”
“I was gonna ask about her. What’s her deal?”
Emilia finally decided to get out of bed and tossed an empty box of mini-muffins to the floor. “I’ll explain at the firing range. Let’s get going. It’ll look bad if we’re both late”. She got up and walked towards the door.
“Wait, you’re going in your pajamas?! Shouldn’t you like, get dressed?”
“Nah, this is…”
Gunshots could be heard in the hallway. Emilia frowned. “God-damnit, they aren’t even supposed to be in this wing of the building. I’m gonna teach those fuck-heads a lesson.”
“What, are we under attack or something?”
“No, it’s Jesse and Conrad again. I’ve told those 2 to cut that shit out more times than I care to count.” Emilia grumbled as she walked to the wardrobe and put on… another set of duckie pajamas.
“What the hell?! There’s shooting and you’re changing from pajamas TO MORE PAJAMAS! WHY?”
“Easy there Alli. Take a closer look. Actually…” Emilia grabbed Allison’s hand.
“Huh… wait…what the…” Allison’s confusion was suddenly halted as her hand was pulled and pressed against Emilia’s breasts. “What are you doing… wait… These are… armored”?
“Yeah, I’ve had a couple of the old pajamas modified a bit. This set is armored. I didn’t even bother with the right arm though, for reasons which should now be obvious to you. Get changed into combat gear, this could get a little messy.”
“But, I haven’t had my evaluation… I…” Allison muttered.
“Quit being a bitch and get your guns. You have at least the standard issue, and we did give you back your weapons for the evaluation. Oh, wait, those are waiting at the firing range, fuck! Here, take this…” Emilia tossed Allison a long-barreled pistol. “I already disengaged the safety and set it to paralyzing rounds. It’d be bad if you killed an agent or 2, even if it was for a good cause. Let's get going.”
“But… I don’t have combat gear yet either. The stuff from my old place was the wrong size. I got rid of it cuz I hate ‘one-size-fits-all’ bullshit.”
“You’re all sorts of trouble today. Put these on and hurry up. They are the same as the set I’m wearing now.” Emilia tossed yet another set of armored duckie pajamas to Allison. Allison did as she was told and ditched her casual clothing for armored sleeping attire.
“I can’t believe I’m fucking going into combat in armored duckie pajamas…”
Emilia added, “Don’t forget the part about it being in the female quarters wing of your home base, with 2 rival agents exchanging gunfire.”
“You’re fucking kidding…” Allison’s jaw dropped.
“Hun, as much bullshit as this team goes through, I don’t kid… much. Anyways, let’s go. If you do well here, we can probably clear you for a few different parts of the evaluation. Also, you wanted to know if this thing was loaded, right.” Emilia said with a smile as she walked towards the door.
Allison gulped. “I just wanted firearms clearance, not live combat training” she wined as she followed Emilia out.
