Frigga

Frigga watched out the window as the carriage carrying the Thornehearts rode down the  winding drive to the exorbitant Magnus-Monroe home. Its grounds sprawled with beautiful  displays of flowers and shrubs, brilliantly sculpted topiaries, and multiple fountains and ponds  that were tucked in expected and unexpected places around the estate. While the Thorneheart  family was incredibly wealthy itself, the Magnus-Monroes’ wealth was on a different tier.  Despite their lack of magic in a city full of witches, they were one of the most respected families  in the province. Sir Theodore Magnus-Monroe and his son Marcus Magnus-Monroe were highly  sought-after acquaintances to have which suited both men just fine. They loved meeting anyone  with a pulse and were generous to a fault, even opening the grounds to the public to use as a  place to relax. Frigga had spent many summer afternoons with her aunt and baby brother there  before she’d gone away to school, times she looked upon with fondness.  

The mansion itself was three floors high, had stone steps leading up to the main entrance that  flanked a small arboreal and flora display, and its white stone facade sparkled like silver in the  sunlight. Its roofs were tiled with some form of imported burgundy slate, and windows were  evenly spaced across the long exterior, each flung open to let the fresh spring air in. At the foot  of the stairs stood Theodore, a gigantic man in height and breadth, dressed in a solid purple suit,  crisp white button-down, and a tie hand-embroidered with gold leaf. His bushel of neatly  trimmed red facial hair was greying and he had a wisp of grey swooped into a combover. Next to  his father, Marcus was willowy and delicate. His soft lavender button down had more ruffles on  it than Frigga’s frilliest dresses, and the slate-coloured trousers it was tucked into created a soft  silhouette and the appearance of a slender hourglass figure despite the man’s lanky build. The  smile he gave as Frigga and her family stepped out of their carriage could have caused wars to  ceasefire, and he kissed her knuckles when she offered him her hand with gentle enthusiasm.  

It made Frigga’s insides squirm.  

 He offered her his arm as Theodore ushered the family in, and Frigga cast a look back to her  aunt absently. She was met with an approving beam from Sapphire and a nod towards the  proffered arm, so she took the arm and allowed him to escort her to the main drawing room.  

For the first half-hour, Theodore and Sapphire sat together, speaking of local matters, and  Marcus joined Leland at the nearby table with some drawing things he’d brought out for his  youngest guest. The sight of Leland and Marcus interacting soothed some of the sickness in  Frigga’s stomach, and she nearly giggled when Leland stole the drawing her friend was working  on from under him. 

“Why’s yours so much better than mine?” her brother cried with genuine bewilderment. “I  thought all you did was read!”  

Marcus snorted. “I took a drawing class at school, bud. Don’t worry, though, that’s the only  thing I can draw, you’re still better than me.”  

Leland squinted at Marcus, trying to determine if he was being condescended to. “Draw  something else then.”  

Taking up a pencil once more, Marcus chewed on its end. “Like what?”  

“Draw Frigga!”  

Marcus’ eyes widened and shot to Frigga who covered her grin with a hand politely. The man  giggled nervously, “I think if I tried to, your sister won’t like me anymore. Why don’t you draw  Frigga, and I’ll draw this again?”  

Leland cackled and started his portrait as Marcus sighed with relief. His eyes flashed to meet  Frigga’s again for a meaningful moment. She couldn’t discern the soft expression, but her  instinct was to run from it, to hide. She didn’t have time to, however, Marcus glanced over to his  father and Sapphire, then back to Leland, before saying, “I’ll be back in a bit, alright? I’m gonna  go chat with your sister.” Leland nodded without looking up from his drawing, and Marcus stood  from his seat and walked over to her. He dropped his tone and gave an awkward nod. “I’m  wondering if you’d want to join me on a walk outside? There’s some really nice roses in the back  right now.”  

Frigga’s heart wrenched, but she kept her expression neutral. Casting another glance to her  aunt, she found Sapphire and Theodore were still entirely engrossed in their own conversation so  she forced a polite smile onto her lips for him. “That sounds nice.” He offered her his arm again  and she didn’t want to take it, worried her trembling would be detected. She took it anyway.  

Marcus was right, the roses were gorgeous. The walks in the back of the estate were even  more lush than the front. Maybe he sensed she was frightened because he struck up neutral topics  of conversation, talked about the different sculptures around the garden, and listened intently as  Frigga happily explained the different genuses of roses. Marcus hadn’t understood a word of it,  but it was sweet of him to listen.  

They came to the largest fixture in the grounds, a multi-tiered fountain, fifteen feet in  diameter, with a thick marble barrier one might easily sit cross-legged on with room to spare.  The water splashed pleasantly and the air was misty from it. Marcus led her to sit on its edge and  sat next to her. His knee started bouncing before he purposely stopped it and sighed. Frigga’s  heart sank.  

“So,” Marcus said, his voice taking on a nervous edge she’d never heard from him before, “I  guess your aunt talked to you about today?” 

Frigga nodded and looked to the ground to avoid looking at him. “Yes, she told me about the  arrangement.”  

“Right,” he murmured as he looked down the pathway they’d walked to get here. “When my  father first mentioned the idea of an arranged marriage, I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Of  course, he went on and on about what it would mean for everyone, and yeah all of that’s true  but…” He paused and took another deep breath. “I’m kind of a romantic guy at heart, you know?  And I don’t want to marry someone for political reasons.”  

Where was he going with this? “I’m the same way,” Frigga said quietly, still fighting to  remain neutral.  

Marcus didn’t continue, not right away. Frigga took the quiet moment to listen to the distant  song of a bird and her chicks and the whispering breeze that rustled through the shrubbery. While  she felt shaky all over, the warmth of the sun did its best to comfort her, kissing her skin like a  lover and grounding her once more in the present.  

“This whole thing scares me, Frigga.”  

Frigga looked at him, and Marcus was staring into the sky absently while his hands fiddled  with the braid draped over his shoulder. He didn’t look scared but sad. “What scares you?”  He didn’t look back at her but closed his eyes. “Hurting people, mostly, especially when I  don’t mean to.”  

He was being vulnerable with her, and Frigga’s grieving heart lightened at this gesture of  honesty. She put a hand on his shoulder gently. “You have a good heart, Marcus, and it’s human  to make mistakes.”  

His grateful smile was a reward, and he bashfully looked at the small hand on his shoulder.  “Thanks.” His eyes then met hers for another meaningful moment, but this time Frigga did not  look away. There was no chemistry in the gaze. Frigga wasn’t drawn to him, but there was  understanding. “I really respect you,” he said, “and I don’t want to marry you for the coven’s  sake.”  

Frigga held her breath as Marcus took her hands in his and turned to her more fully. He placed  a gentle kiss on her knuckles again and then turned her hands over to place a kiss on the inside of  each wrist. A prickling stung her eyes, and she was going to cry; no force was going to stop it  because Frigga couldn’t stop herself from desperately wishing this wasn’t happening.  

“I want to marry you,” Marcus continued, “because I think we could make each other happy,  because I think we’re a lot alike, and because you’re the smartest person I’ve ever known.” He  caught her eyes again and offered a nervous smile. “And I think I could fall in love with you  really easily, if you’ll let me.”  

Frigga’s throat closed around the word “no,” like a frog preventing a fly from escaping. Her  cheeks burned and she swallowed it down, praying he assumed this was happiness instead of 

what it was. Marcus truly was a romantic; he was gentle and kind and sweet and, if he had not  been a man, Frigga would easily have fallen for him. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing  came out, so she shut it again.  

From his place next to her, Marcus hummed pensively before standing up from his spot. “One  sec, I’ll be right back.” Frigga watched as he bounded to the nearest rose bush, carefully looked a  few over, and plucked one, flinching as he pricked his finger. He examined the injury for a half  second before disregarding it, completed his harvest, and returned to Frigga’s side. Instead of  sitting again, he knelt in front of her on one knee and offered the rose. “I know asking isn’t  required if it’s already arranged, but you deserve to have the option to say no. Will you marry  me, Frigga?” he asked, hopeful and endearing.  

A tear streaked down Frigga’s cheek, and she looked over the man she was using. Her mind  replaced him with Razi, flooded her imagination with memories of the woman she loved, and  Frigga went numb. Maybe she deserved that option, but she didn’t have it. “Yes,” was her  breathless reply as Frigga accepted the rose.  

His grin lit up his eyes and he sprung to his feet. Frigga stood with him and he wrapped his  arms around her warmly. If she hadn’t been numb, Frigga probably wouldn’t have minded the  embrace. He was still her friend and he was keeping his touch respectful. As it was, the warmth  of the hug was lost to her, and when he pulled away his eyes fell to her lips; he wanted to kiss  her. He was close enough to do it, and that snapped Frigga back into herself with nightmarish  sharpness. She would have to do it eventually, but Frigga turned her face away, instead gathering  up the hand he’d pricked earlier.  

It wasn’t bleeding, though it would if one pressed on the injury, but the area was reddened.  “Oh, yeah,” he chuckled. “Forgot about that.”  

She looked up to him as another tear dripped from her eye. “May I?” He nodded, watching  what she would do. Frigga shut her eyes and focused on the hand touching his, channeling  energy into it. Sparks of magic jumped at her command, rushing from her fingertips into his  injury. His wound glowed a faint blue for ten seconds and as the light faded, the skin knit itself  back together until every trace of a laceration disappeared.  

Frigga looked up to her fiancé who’s eyes widened. “Wow,” he said, “amazing.”  Shrugging, Frigga looked away from him to tuck the rose into her hair. “Something small like  that is simple.” She looked towards the house and squinted. “I guess we should be getting back  soon?”  

“Good idea!” Marcus offered his arm again. “Hopefully we don’t get lost getting back.”  Frigga giggled. “Do you get lost a lot?”  

“More than I should, but it’s not my fault Jenkins insists on changing the layout every year.”  He looked to her with a pensive smile and seemed to be considering something. For an awful 

second, she thought Marcus would try kissing her like that again, but he affectionately pecked  her on the cheek instead. “Dinner should be ready soon,” he said happily. It took all of Frigga’s  strength not to immediately wipe the kiss away. Instead, she nodded and trained her eyes on the  walk ahead.  

When they returned, Theodore and Sapphire stared at them expectantly from the mahogany  chessboard by the window that overlooked the back of the house and Leland ignored them. A  bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne had made an appearance on the nearby drink  cart with four waiting flutes. Frigga froze under the questioning gaze of her aunt, but Marcus  enthusiastically nodded which caused his father to exclaim with happiness and rush over to them  for a bear hug.  

“Wonderful!” he boomed as he squeezed Frigga and Marcus tight. “I’m so proud of you  both!”  

Sapphire followed suit and hugged each of them separately. “As am I,” she said, and Frigga  had to swallow a giggle at Marcus’ grimace as her aunt hugged him.  

A pop sounded from the drink cart, and Theodore started pouring the adults a flute each. “A  toast, I think. Son, come give these to our guests.”  

Marcus did, gathered a flute for each of the women and handed one to Sapphire before  returning to Frigga. She gratefully accepted hers when he whispered in her ear, “Get ready for  the speech.” She looked up to him, a question plain on her lips, but Marcus turned his attention  back to his father so Frigga did the same.  

“When Sapphire” Theodore said, his voice bouncing off the walls, “proposed the idea of an  arranged marriage between her niece and my son, pardon the pun, I must admit to being  skeptical! After all, Marcus, you haven’t seemed to be interested in settling and I surely didn’t  think you’d agree to such a plan. I didn’t want to pressure you, I hope you know, you too Frigga,  I hope you don’t feel that way, but we all know what a glorious thing this union will be! Aside  from the practical aspects, bringing our families together is just good sense for the simple reason  that we’ve been a family already these last hundred and fifty years. And now once more. My boy  wouldn’t find a better wife than you, Frigga,” he raised his glass in her direction, “the perfect  role model of what nobility was always meant to be: smart, considerate, and wise. Teach him  some of that last one, will you?”  

He laughed at his own joke, Sapphire politely hummed with mirth, Marcus rolled his eyes and  Frigga cracked a smile. She didn’t feel like any of those things. If she was smart, she wouldn’t be  in this mess. If she was considerate, she wouldn’t be using Marcus like this. If she was wise, she  would have never let herself agree to her aunt’s plan. She was a coward, nothing more.  

Theodore continued on, “Since the death of my beloved wife, our home has been lacking the  touch only a woman of refinement and sense can bring. I’ve cut down on the extravagant parties 

and such, much to Marcus’ displeasure I’m sure, and instead poured those resources into the  Honeyshore Coven, investing in it. In doing so, the coven has seen much growth under your  expert leadership, Sapphire,” he raised his glass towards her next, “and I hope we continue to see  it thrive, leaving a legacy worthy of the generations to come.”  

Frigga felt sick and faint. As silently as she was able, she took in a deep breath through her  nose and released it again, trying to wash the sensation away. These feelings were nothing but a  hindrance tonight, and she willed herself into the numbness from before and painted her smile  back on.  

“Marcus, Frigga,” Theodore addressed them one more time, and Frigga noted the man’s shiny  eyes, “You’ve made me the happiest, proudest father! I truly love both of you, and on some level  I always knew the two of you should be together. Cheers to you both, to our fair city, to the  coven, and to grandbabies!”  

He roared with laughter and drank from his glass while dabbing at his misty eyes, Sapphire  drank alongside him, Marcus groaned but knocked his back, and Frigga clenched her jaw as she  sipped. Grandchildren. Honeyshore. The coven. It was all on her shoulders. Everyone was  counting on her. This wasn’t going to make Frigga happy, but what choice did she have? Say no  and have everyone suffer because of her?  

No, she wouldn’t do that.  

She played her part for the rest of the evening, the smart, considerate, wise fiancée, graceful  and perfect. Marcus treated her like a princess but had apparently picked up her unease regarding  physical affection because he did not try to kiss her again. It was the only relief of the night.  

After spending the afternoon smothering her feelings, the nearing opportunity to withdraw  made Frigga desperate. Gertrude met the family at the door to take their coats, and Doris waited  at her side. When Frigga passed off her coat, she silently sped towards the stairs, not giving  Doris a single look.  

“Miss?” the attendant called, “shall I fetch you some tea?”  

“No,” Frigga sharply replied as she climbed the stairs. “Do not disturb me tonight.”  Frigga didn’t look behind her, but she knew her biting command had been enough to ensure  she would not be checked in on. Just a few more seconds.  

An eternity later, she made it to her room. She closed the door with a quiet click, pressed her  hands to the door, loosed a silencing spell that coated her door and walls, not bothering with the  windows. She was too tired and too upset for that kind of care, and the amount of energy she  used was arguably more than she needed, but she would not have eavesdropping tonight. When  she was satisfied the room was sound tight, Frigga let go of the stranglehold she was keeping on  her heart and she wept. She collapsed to the floor, she tore off her clothes, she screamed. 

When she started to catch her breath, she found herself on her bed curled around a pillow.  Frigga reached out a hand and tiredly draped it across the empty space beside her on the bed,  imagining Razi lying next to her. She didn’t know what she had expected would change if she  fell in love with someone. Maybe nothing. It was always going to end up this way, Theodore had  been right about that, but in her secrecy Frigga wanted to marry Razi. If Razi had been a witch it  would have been allowed quite easily. If she had been non-magical but from a noble family, that  would have been acceptable too. But she had nothing to offer the coven so Frigga wouldn’t be  allowed anywhere near an officially sanctioned relationship with her. She loved Razi, and with  every passing day Frigga knew more and more that her life needed Razi in it. 

Razi

Over the course of the next week, Frigga was pulled away for party planning and dress fittings so she was only able to go on a single walk with Razi. She’d been much less interested in the sprouting sunflowers than Razi had anticipated. Instead, she just seemed exhausted and sad. Frigga said the old lady had her working on a more intense syllabus of study with the coven initiation approaching in August and that the party planning was wearing her down. It broke Razi’s heart to see Frigga so deflated, so miserable, so she did her best to make Frigga laugh the rest of the afternoon and by the end the witch’s spirits had lifted considerably. 

On the afternoons Frigga was holed up in the library, Razi threw herself into her regular duties. Two days before the engagement party, Razi went into town, tasked with picking up some new formalwear that had been ordered for the family. As she stepped into the dressmaker’s shop, Angela, lovely as always in her frocks and petticoats, perked up from behind her counter. “Well, I’ll be,” the woman greeted. “I thought you’d been abducted Raza.”

Razi smirked and walked up to her. “Heard you got something for Thornehearts, gorgeous. I’ve come t’ pick it up.” She leaned an elbow on the counter and gave an easy nod of respect.

Angela squinted briefly at Razi before scurrying to the back for a half-minute, leaving Razi alone with her thoughts. She absently watched as a light-orb bounced off a wall. This was all starting to feel too familiar, Razi had lost count of how many times girls she was seeing would just go off and get married, and the idea it might be happening again with someone she had started to trust? Gods, how dumb was she? She thought she’d have learnt by now, she thought she had. As much as she hated to admit it, Frigga had been a little bit right. Razi wasn’t sure if she was ready to let her bachelor ways go yet. A lot of girls in the town had a soft spot for her. All sorts of other spots too, if she asked nicely. Razi still wasn’t sure what she wanted from Frigga, but she was tempted to throw everything out at this point. It was causing a headache and was bringing up some less than pleasant feelings she’d long fought to smother.

She sighed as Angela returned with the packages. “I think this is what you need?”

“Think so, thanks.”

“I heard the strangest rumour.” Razi’s brow piqued as the seamstress leaned on the counter directly across from her. She met Razi’s eyes and treated her to a small show in her low-cut pine-coloured dress. “I heard you’d been tamed. For my sake I hope the rumours aren’t true.”

Unsurprising. She had been almost completely absent from her usual haunts for the last month. The garden work had taken more out of her than her usual workload, so there hadn’t been much time for the pub. Razi wasn’t sure the whole thing had been worth it, not if she had to deal with this much drama. 

Who was she kidding? It had definitely been worth it, and she hated that. 

“Really now? Where’d you hear tha’?”

Angela giggled. “I’ve missed you, handsome. People talk. Someone may have mentioned something about a garden?”

Razi looked at the woman, she was lovely in a lot of ways. Green eyes, pretty face, and while Angela was much more petite than herself, she was a hard worker and had a sturdy build. “People talk, huh. Sounds like you’re jus’ tryin’ t’ get me t’ come back out. Work’s been busy.”

“Oh I heard. Lady Thorneheart’s been keeping us busy ‘round here. Sounds like they’re gonna marry her niece off.”

“Sounds like it,” Razi frowned a bit more than she’d meant and gestured to the parcels. “More work for me, so you might not see me for a while longer.”

Razi felt Angela’s eyes looking right through her, searching for what was wrong. “You alright? You’re not happy.”

Razi shrugged. “I’m always alright.”

Angela brushed her fingers across Razi’s. “I really have missed you. It’s not good to work so much, you know?”

Razi retreated her hand and shoved both in her pockets as she stepped away from the counter to look out the windows. “Can I ask you a question, Angie?”

“What’s up, handsome?”

Razi shuffled a bit. Gods, it was weird asking Angela something like this. “You remember when Bethany got married?”

“Six years ago?”

“Yeah. You were close with her right?”

In the window’s reflection, she saw Angela shrug. “I guess. I went to the wedding.”

“Do you…do you know why she got married t’ Lee? I ‘ad no idea ’til th’ week after.”

“Are you asking why she married Lee and not you?”

Razi’s shoulders tensed. “No,” she lied.

“It’s not like you ever wanted to settle down.”

“Tha’s not what this is about.”

“No?”

“Seems to happen a lot.”

“Your reputation proceeds you, handsome.”

“It didn’t then.”

Angela shrugged again. “Maybe not. You know, you’re not doing yourself any favours in that regard these days, Raza.”

Razi turned to look at the woman who was still leaning on the counter, slyly watching her. Perceptive woman. Why were all the women in Razi’s life so damn perceptive? “What about you, Angie?”

She grinned wickedly. “You asking me to marry you again? I’m flattered.”

Razi grinned back at the old joke. “Right. I’ll go get my best suit then.”

“I bet you look gorgeous in it, huh?”

“Been told, but wouldn’t hold a candle t’ your gorgeousness on the average day.” Razi was half-tempted to stay and flirt more. It’d be a fun distraction, but she really had to move on to the rest of her to-do list. “Thanks for th’ chat, Angie.”

Angela stepped around the counter up to her, placing a peck on her cheek. “Of course, and good luck with whatever’s going on, sweets. I hope she knows how lucky she is, whoever it is.”

Razi smiled and set off from the shop with her usual charming farewell. Walking down the street with her first pick-up of the day, she thought back to the conversation she and Frigga had in the garden last week. Frigga asked her to figure out what she wanted and Razi wasn’t sure if she was ready to face it yet. In the window of the shop she was passing she saw some floral arrangements and wondered absent-mindedly if Frigga would have any say in the flowers for her own wedding. 

Frigga’s wedding to some pompous, rich man? The thought made Razi sick. Some family, huh? Marrying their kid with no interest in men off to some rich bloke so they can make magical rich babies so they can keep making magical rich babies forever. What was the point? And what use was magic anyway if they were just captive to that bullshit? Had Frigga been some girl in town, Razi would have jumped at marrying her. She was smart and kind-hearted, a rarity for rich families. She just wanted everyone to be happy and would do everything to make it happen, even if it meant sacrificing herself. Some may count that as a virtue, being generous or caring about others first, but Razi?

She’d had to grow up early when her mother left and had rapidly found out that if you didn’t take care of yourself, everyone would take advantage of you until your well was dry. They didn’t care about you if it meant they got ahead regardless of social status. You can be poor and an asshole, after all. Razi’s pa was a hard-working man but became distant when his wife split. He never fully recovered. Jedidiah Wood worked at the Thorneheart estate since Razi was ten. When he passed five years later, Sapphire Thorneheart had been quite accommodating, arranging for her to have a lodging in the house and a place to study if she wanted. Razi wasn’t much for books though, favouring her work in the kitchens and around the grounds. It was hard work, but she took pride in it and in putting herself first.

Razi picked up the rest of the items on the list and rushed home. It was about 1:30 and there was still a possibility Frigga wanted to study outside today. Gods, that tiny woman had her wrapped around her little finger, it was terrible. Razi was a proud person and revelled in her independence. She could make it on her own anywhere, provide for herself on the road for weeks if she needed! And here she was, checking the clock just in case Frigga wanted to go for a walk?

Razi dropped the parcels off where they were needed in the house and nearly careened into Gertrude by the kitchen door. “Sorry Gert!”

“Miss Thorneheart’s requested you at 2:00, Razi,” the woman said dryly, her expression an unimpressed glare. “You need to back off, the girl’s engaged now. It won’t do to be doing what you do.”

Razi frowned. “No need to be that way, Gert. Mind your own business.” She was tempted to flash a rude gesture at the lady, but she opted to roll her eyes obnoxiously instead before she headed to her room to change into something fresh. She unbuttoned her work shirt and caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror. The days were getting warm, now, so a fine coating of sweat had appeared on her lower back and a trickle of it slid down her neck. The clothes she wore for work were very worn by now, she’d needed to replace them weeks ago but hadn’t felt like putting out the coin for a new set. Her canvas trousers were threadbare in the knee, her shirt’s shoulder seams strained to hold together and only barely succeeding. Her boots were the worst, they’d needed replacing two months ago and now she could see the sole starting to split; one more puddle and they’d be falling off her feet. Her worn clothes never seemed to interfere with her charm, she suspected that it added to her charisma because it marked her as someone that worked hard.

Razi knew she was charming, that she was very good at getting girls’ attention, but she hadn’t been trying with Frigga, not really. Thinking back on the last six weeks or so, she hadn’t missed her other girls at all. On their occasional trips into town, Frigga had seen how popular Razi was and it had made her jealous. That was still an unfathomable thought. During previous flings-turned-south, it had been Razi who’d been the one asking for scraps of love, who’d been made jealous on purpose for another’s amusement, but Frigga respected her and had made her desire for Razi clear. Frigga, who had everything, was jealous for Razi’s attention. Frigga, who had her pick of anyone in town, asking Razi for her commitment. Frigga, a literal heiress to one of the most powerful families in the country, in love with Razi. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought Frigga would want her.

But what did Razi want? Maybe to whisk Frigga away to some foreign place and start over there. Frigga would never, even if it was a nice thought.

Razi wanted to settle eventually, just not for a few years yet. But when she did, she wanted her own household. The idea of being someone’s mistress made Razi incredibly uncomfortable. To be thrown scraps of spare time only when the man of the house allowed it? To watch as her lover’s stomach swelled with the child of her husband? Nope! To think her life would revolve around the whims of a man in any way was preposterous. It was bad enough being hung out to dry once, but for that to happen regularly? She wouldn’t do it, not even for Frigga.

Razi knew what she wanted: she wanted Frigga, but she wanted only Frigga, no boys allowed. If Razi had to stay a servant to be with her, that was fine. Frigga wouldn’t be allowed to marry a commoner, but she could stay technically single, right? She didn’t have to get married to lead the coven, she could…not? Razi was sure stranger things happened in their circles all the time, Lady Thorneheart had never married after all. But even if marriage didn’t matter to Razi, it did to Frigga so Razi would marry Frigga if it ever became a viable option.

Oh fuck, she had been tamed.

Everything about this decision made Razi want to run, to bury her emotions and pretend as if it had been just another fling like always. That she was even considering trusting this witch with her heart, she who was already engaged to some man, was absurd! When she thought about Frigga, Razi’s instinct screamed to trust her, to have faith, to hope one last time. This wouldn’t be easy, but… But she would try. She would try to be honest, she would try to be patient, and she would trust Frigga.

Frigga had the two of them walk as far away from the house as possible, almost to the forest on the edge of the property. Something seemed to weigh on her mind so the walk was mostly silent, but when they got to their destination and Razi put a blanket down for them to sit on, she settled down happily. Razi sat behind her and scooted to scoop up the witch in her arms. “You seem stressed, Princess.”

Frigga smiled weakly and put her sketchbook down on the ground. She leaned into Razi’s embrace. “The engagement party is tomorrow. I don’t want to go.”

Razi gently rubbed Frigga’s back to comfort her. “Sounds 'bout as fun as watching paint dry. Sorry you gotta deal with tha’.”

The woman in front of her inhaled deeply and melted in Razi’s hold while her empty gaze fixed on the forest ahead. It had been a week since Frigga’s birthday party and she’d been patient. Sort of. She respected Razi’s request for some time to reflect, but she practically vibrated with anticipation while searching for any sign that Razi had come to an answer.

Razi looked up, watching clouds meandering by in the cheery spring sky. “I’ve done that thinking.”

Frigga looked up and her breath faltered. “And what are your thoughts?”

A complicated mix of love, frustration, and levity knit together in Razi’s chest as she took in the sight of Frigga. She was in her darker blue plaid dress today, the one put aside for walks she might get messy on, and her mother’s necklace peeked out from the collar. Her hair was more relaxed than usual today, in a simple single braid down the back, bits artfully poking free throughout. She seemed so tired and worn down, but even so she was still so beautiful. Razi brushed a finger over Frigga’s cheek absently before saying in a flat tone “My thoughts are tha’ all you witches are a pain in my arse.”

Frigga’s laughter was its own reward, but the witch sitting up and kissing her cheek was a nice prize too. With some of the tension dissolved, Frigga placed a hand on Razi’s knee. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.”

Frigga grinned sheepishly. “I’m not, but I am sorry that this has been such a stressful week.”

“Yeah, well.” Razi pulled Frigga in to her arms again and the witch happily settled back into her original place, looking out over the forest, nestled in Razi’s arms. “I thought about what could have been if you were jus’ a girl in town.”

“And?”

“And I would marry you, if that’s what you wanted.” Her confession hung in the air as Razi leaned her forehead to rest on Frigga’s shoulder. The confession left Razi feeling split open and the warmth of the woman she loved dulled the ache of vulnerability.

Everything was quiet for a moment. Frigga took in a few breaths and rested her cheek on Razi’s arm. “If you’d been born into a more suitable family, I think I would have married you already.”

They wanted each other, and they wanted each other for good.

Razi clutched Frigga gently and leaned her cheek atop Frigga’s head. The woman’s curls were shiny, soft, and smelled of that lavender oil she always used. A soothing scent, but it did little to soothe Razi now. “Frigga, I can’t be your mistress. If I’m gonna spend my life with someone I love, I can’t av’ ‘er time be taken up by some man. I won’t.”

Frigga’s eyes were glassy and gorgeous, threatening to spill the witch’s aching heart onto her cheeks. “I don’t want that either.”

Razi tightened her grip on Frigga’s waist. “Is there… a reason you have to marry at all?”

Frigga placed her hand over Razi’s. “There’s a few, mostly for lineage’s sake.” Her voice shook and had begun to crack.

Razi bit back some tears of her own. “Why do you gotta do all this shit? Jus’ do what you want!”

“Even…even if there was someone else to take the role of Heir instead of me, I was selected a long time ago because of my magical potential and we still don’t know if Leland has any magic at all. I was younger than him when I was accidentally setting things on fire and magically knocking over vases.” She laughed at the memory and a tear escaped. “So it’s unlikely Leland would even be an option at this point, and there isn’t anyone else. And even if he did have magic, he wouldn’t be able to participate in coven meets, not for another two years.”

“Poor kid 'as no idea what you’re dealing wit’ does he?”

“I do my best to shield him from it, but I wish someone had done that for me.”

They sat in the quiet for a few minutes, Razi’s face buried in Frigga’s hair with an arm around her waist, Frigga’s hand on top of it and her cheek leaning on Razi’s arm. They finally understood that they wanted each other, but there was no way to realize that dream. Razi wanted to take all the pressure away, to free this woman from her responsibilities. She prompted Frigga to sit up and with her free hand she moved Frigga’s single braid to fall over her shoulder, brushing the skin she found along the way. It was partially in comfort for Frigga and partially because Razi couldn’t resist touching her. It left part of Frigga’s shoulder and neck exposed. She wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to take her away from here if only for a heartbeat or two.

So she did. Razi planted one kiss on Frigga’s neck, then two, and when Frigga turned her head slightly, she planted a kiss on her cheek, as if whispering a question.

Frigga turned, answering the question. They touched lips, gently at first, asking each other over and over with their touch, do you want me? And over and over they answered each other: More than anything. They gently held each other, wrapped up in the moment, wishing the world was this simple, and for a few secret minutes they stole each other’s hearts.

When they slowed and hesitantly pulled away, Frigga smiled as tears freely streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to do.”

Razi looked into Frigga’s eyes and brushed some stray strands of auburn aside, tucking them behind her ear before wiping her tears away with a thumb. “Maybe…maybe we’ll figure it out. Maybe there’s another option we ‘aven’t found yet.” Frigga looked down thoughtfully, sadly, but stayed close. How she wished she could take this witch’s burden and not add to it, but her boundary needed to be absolutely clear. Razi gently raised Frigga’s chin with a finger to look her in the eye. “But if you do end up marrying him, you don’t get me.”

Frigga maintained the eye contact and she seemed to be searching Razi’s for something. “Yes,” she said soberly, “I know.”

Razi offered her smile. “But you’ve got me for now.”

The gravity in the witch’s expression lightened, and Frigga wrapped her arms around her. “I understand.”