It was a quiet thing, the way she realized it, at least in her mind. First it was the way he looked at her. Then it was his laugh. His eyes. His smile. The way he seemed to linger when he looked at her and how he seemed to seek out contact when he was around her. Bumping her shoulder, brushing her hand, moving her hair out of her face or tying it back while she worked.

Eventually he started leaving notes and flowers where she would find them. Never signing his name, but his writing was distinctive enough that there was never any doubt about who left them.

She was embarrassed to admit how long it took for her to realize how she felt about him.

How much she wanted to stop waiting and tell him how much she cared about him.

It still took her believing he had died for her to convince herself she needed to tell him. That was when she decided to seek him out, unsure of what exactly she planned to do, but determined to do something.

Ordell had gone off by himself to the private room he'd been given. Most people avoided that wing of the caves, since it was so close to the Daedra, but he had gladly taken it. Being a mostly abandoned wing, it only took her a few minutes to make her way there. She paused outside the room, breathing deeply, trying to calm her nerves. Reminding herself that he'd said to come and go as she pleased. With one last breath she quietly slipped into the room, pulling off her gloves as she did.

Ordell was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. He'd removed most of his robes and left them draped across the back of his chair. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, his glasses reflecting the candle light as his grey eyes moved across the pages of the book he was reading. He looked up as he heard her enter the room, smiling softly at her before returning to his book. She took a few steps into the room, towards him, before stopping, trying to decide what to do next. The thoughts jumbled in her head, making her dizzy. Voices seemed to buzz in her ear. The fear that she would be rejected. The pain that would come from staying silent. The different parts of her screamed to run. To leave and not look back. She was so stuck that what she said didn't even feel like a conscious decision.

"I'm in love with you," She whispered. It fell from her lips and she almost didn't want him to hear. He looked up from his book, glasses near the end of his nose. His eyebrows raised. She looked down. "I don't expect anything from you, it's okay if we just stay friends," she fidgeted with her gloves, "I just- I needed you to know, and I-" When she looked up he was standing in front of her. His gloved hand lifted up to brush her cheek as he chuckled, the lopsided smile she loved slipping onto his lips, "I do know, sweetheart. You don't have to explain." His eyes met hers and she didn't think she'd ever want to look away. She'd never seen him look at her like that before. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek before moving to touch his forehead to hers. She dropped her gloves as he did, her hands moving to cup his cheeks.

It was so different from when she shared contact with her father or with Nali. No fear. No underlying tension. Just warmth.

And, as they stood in the room and he pulled her closer, whispering reassurance in her ear, she wondered why she'd waited so long to let him do that.