29 August 1983 – Hardwick Road, Enfield, Massachusetts

Jeff leaned into the opposing player as they fought for the soccer ball. Sweat stung his eyes and his lungs burned as they ran down the field. Jeff finally gained a step on his man and flicked the ball toward a player from his team. A whistle blew behind them, signaling the end of their turn, and both players returned to the back of the drill line.

“Nice job,” the other boy offered as they jogged back to the rest of the midfielders.

“Thanks,” Jeff answered.

“I’m Tom Jarrett.”

“Jeff Knox,” he replied as they stopped at the water cooler.

“‘Knox?’ Does your mom work here by any chance?”

“Sixth Grade math,” Jeff confirmed, nodding while they rejoined the line.

“Cool! She was my math teacher back then!” Tom exclaimed. “Hey, you’re a freshman, right? My brother will be in your class this year.”

“I’ll look for him next week.”

Switching to the offense for his next turn, Jeff pulled away from his defender with ease. He sprinted away from the boy, angled towards the goal, and blasted a shot at the net. The goalie made the stop but the defender should have kept Jeff from shooting at all. His counterpart said nothing to him as they returned to the line.

’Whatever, pal,’ Jeff thought. ’Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.’

Jeff gave one hundred percent on the field and was not timid. Timid players got bench time, not playing time. Whatever Jeff was off the field was going to change.

The second half of practice on Friday was all scrimmages. Jeff was always right on his man when defending and a step ahead on offense. The end of the final scrimmage approached when his defense cleared the ball. The ball sailed down the field rather than out towards the sideline. Jeff gauged the flight of the ball and broke for the opposing goal.

The ball appeared over his right shoulder, landing on the pitch in front of him. He began to advance it down the field without breaking stride. He streaked by the other team’s midfielder before that player could react. He put the ball through the legs of their left fullback and cut around him. The sweeper came over to defend him. The boy charged at him and attempted a hard slide tackle.

The sweeper slid toward Jeff while the ball was on Jeff’s foot. Jeff popped it ahead of where the defender would be, leaped over him, and flew down the now-open field. The other team tried to catch up. The goalie and the boy playing stopper both closed in on him.

’Perfect,’ thought Jeff.

Jeff flicked the ball across the field, causing the stopper to slip and fall when he tried to reverse direction. The goalie tracked the new path of the ball but it was hopeless.

Tom Jarrett ran flat-out towards the goal down the opposite side of the field. He judged the speed of the ball and planted his foot in the proper place. The ball wasn’t near him when he began his kick, but it rolled into the right spot as Tom’s leg came forward. He launched a one-timer at the net. The goalie leaped for the shot but it knuckled and sailed past him, and inside the right post. Tom and Jeff high-fived as the whistle blew.

’Hot damn!’ Coach Romanov thought as he smiled around his whistle. ’Those two are going to cut defenses apart!’

’All right. Deep breath. You can do this,’ Jeff coached himself while he pulled the door to his homeroom open. ‘Head up, shoulders back, look people in the eye.’ Mrs. Elgin, his homeroom teacher, looked up at him as he entered.

“Jeff!” she greeted him with a smile as he walked over to her desk. “Welcome! How was your summer?”

“Too short as always, Mrs. E.,” he responded.

“Very true,” she said in agreement. “When did your mom start getting ready for the school year?”

“August first, same as every year,” he grinned. “Was it the same for you?”

“I’ve been teaching a few years longer than your mother, Jeff. I’ve learned how to put off preparations until at least the fifteenth of August.” Alice Elgin laughed. She’d been teaching for over forty years.

“Do we have assigned seats in homeroom?” he asked.

“We most certainly do, young man!” she responded sternly, shaking a finger at him. “Why chaos would reign should we let the ill-informed choose their own seating!” Jeff laughed with her. “Do you see that boy sitting there?” Jeff turned in the direction she pointed. He turned back and nodded. “Your seat is just to the left of him, his right if you’re facing the front of the room.”

“Thanks, Mrs. E. I’ll go and introduce myself if you’ll excuse me?”

Jeff turned for the indicated seat when she smiled and nodded. The already-seated boy studied a map of the campus and compared it to his class schedule. That boy looked up when Jeff approached.

“You must be Tom Jarrett’s brother,” Jeff said.

“Yeah, I am!” the boy confirmed, holding out his hand and smiling. “I’m Jack Jarrett.”

“Jeff Knox. Good to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. How do you know Tom? Were you here for middle school?”

“No, I play soccer, so we met last week at practice. Tom told me that he had my mother as his math teacher when he was in Sixth Grade, too.”

“Your mom’s a teacher here?” Jack asked as Jeff sat.

“Yep,” he confirmed. “She’s been teaching math here since I was three.”

“But you’re just starting Thompkins today?”

“Yeah, I was in Enfield’s public schools until last year.”

“So you’re from here?”

“Sure am. I was born at the hospital in Greenwich and I’ve lived in the valley my whole life. What about you and Tom?”

“We grew up in Williamstown. We were born up in Burlington, Vermont before Mom and Dad decided to move south to Massachusetts. I wasn’t old enough then to remember it.”

They chatted back and forth until the first bell rang. Both gathered their things and rose to head to their first class. Jeff noted that Jack walked with a pronounced limp but kept his eyes on his new friend’s eyes and said nothing about it.

“I’ll grab a couple of seats for us at lunch, okay?” Jeff asked.

“Sounds good, thanks.”

’See?’ Jeff asked himself. ‘That wasn’t so hard, was it?’

Jeff walked into the cafeteria and grabbed a couple of seats at the end of a still-empty table. He looked around the large room but didn’t see Jack, so he sat and opened the brown bag he brought to school. He looked up every so often to see if Jack was around.

Jeff spotted Jack a few minutes later while the other freshman moved through the lunch line. He checked again a few minutes later and saw that Jack was now at the checkout station. He also noticed that Jack didn’t look happy. Jeff saw Jack looking around the lunchroom so he waved until Jack caught sight of him and nodded. He noticed another student following Jack as Jack began walking towards him. Jeff guessed the other boy was the source of Jack’s displeasure.

Jeff rose from the table as Jack approached. He nodded toward the table then stepped between it and the other student when Jack passed him.

“Table’s full,” Jeff said in a brusque manner.

“Bullshit!” the other boy spat. “Nobody else is sitting here!”

“Tough, you won’t be either.”

“F•©k you,” the boy said, trying to get past Jeff who continued to block him.

“Let me make it clearer: you’re not welcome here. You’re clearly bothering my friend. Go find somewhere else to sit.”

Jeff felt movement behind him. He shifted position and saw that other freshmen from the soccer team had occupied the rest of the seats at the table.

“See? Table’s full,” Jeff said again.

“F•©k you, asshole!” the boy spat again. “You’ll get yours!”

“Like you’re gonna be the one giving it to me,” Jeff snorted in reply.

“You’d best bring help if you try anything, Cosgrove,” Jeff heard from behind him.

A large portion of both the varsity and JV soccer teams now stood behind his table. None of the players looked happy.

“You give Jeff or his friend any crap, and you’ll be explaining yourself to all of us,” one of them said. The boy named Cosgrove snorted and walked away.

“Thanks for the backup, guys,” Jeff said to his teammates.

“Keep your head on a swivel, Jeff,” Nick Ansonia, a junior who played varsity defense, cautioned him. Nick was also the one who warned the other boy off. “Bryan Cosgrove, his older brother Jeremy, and their friends are major jerks. We’ve got your back, but beware of those times when you’re not covered.”

“Got it, Nick.”

Jeff’s teammates nodded and headed off while Jeff sat back down and introduced the other frosh to Jack.

“Thanks, Jeff,” Jack muttered across the table after the introductions. “That kid wouldn’t let up on me.”

“Anytime, man.”

“It was a car accident.”

“What was?”

“I got hit by a car while I was riding my bike. I was eight. That’s why I walk like I do,” Jack explained. “I broke my hip and shattered my femur, that’s the thigh bone. The femur healed fine, except that it’s about an inch shorter than the other one, and my hip sticks a little.”

“Jack, are you a dickhead?”

“What? No! At least I try not to be,” Jack responded, confused.

“Dude, that’s all I care about,” Jeff told his new friend. “You didn’t come across as one in homeroom, so I don’t need to worry about anything else after that.”

“Thanks, man.”

Bryan Cosgrove hadn’t learned his lesson well at all.

Jeff shook his head at the sight of Cosgrove and a few of his buddies cornering two other freshmen later the same day. Jeff pushed past the henchmen who formed the outer ring of containment before stepping up to Cosgrove and his intended victims. Jeff was alone but he felt that he could handle this group. He shoved Bryan, causing him to turn.

“Did you think I’d forget about that nonsense back in the cafeteria?” Jeff asked in a quiet voice. “I don’t like bullies. I despise them.”

“F•©k you, pal!” Cosgrove spat back. “There’s only one of you now, there’s four of us!”

The girls Bryan had been terrorizing kept flicking their gaze back and forth. It was like they were watching a tennis match.

Jeff stepped closer and asked, “Oh, do you wanna dance with me? Because I’ll be sure that I take you out first. Whatever happens in the end, I will absolutely ruin your day before I’m done. Whatever you used to pull at whatever school you were at before coming here isn’t gonna fly here. Anything happens to these girls, or anyone else in this school, I’m going to be looking for you first.” Jeff then gave him a hard stare. Cosgrove stepped back.

“Whatever, pal,” he scoffed, trying to look tough for his accomplices. “Come on!” he ordered the others as he walked away from Jeff.

Jeff wasn’t sure where his new backbone came from but he figured it developed when he decided to take charge of his life. He watched Cosgrove and his buddies leave while he shook his head once more.

“Ladies, do you need an escort to class?” he asked, turning back to the two freshmen. There was nobody there.

Jeff looked down the hall and saw the girls running away from the scene. He simply shrugged and turned to get to his class. Jeff burned off the anger from his confrontations with Bryan Cosgrove at soccer practice.

Jeff looked around for Jack Jarrett when he entered the cafeteria for lunch the following Monday but didn’t see him right away. A pretty brunette sat at their normal table with someone. That person turned around and Jeff discovered that person was Jack. Jack saw his new friend, smiled, and waved him over.

“Hey, Jeff!” Jack called when Jeff drew closer.

“Hey,” Jeff answered back as he put his lunch down on the table next to Jack. “Hi, I’m Jeff Knox,” he said, smiling at the girl across the table. The girl smiled back and held out her hand which Jeff shook.

“Hi, I’m Kathy Stein,” she said.

Jeff sat. “Are you in our class?” he asked. “A freshman?”

“I am,” she confirmed with a nod.

“Welcome. How come you didn’t start the year with us last week?”

Kathy smiled. “My dad’s a cardiologist who just started at GVMC. We moved out here from L.A. at the beginning of August, but my folks wanted to make sure our family enjoyed at least part of summer vacation. We’ve been packing and unpacking for months. We were in Maine, up in Scarborough, for the last month or so. Mom found this gorgeous place right on the water when Dad started talking about moving us out of Southern California before last summer. They rented it for a month, centered roughly around Labor Day.” Kathy sighed. “It was wonderful! It was so much different after school had started up there, too!”

Jeff liked Kathy right away, for she seemed very genuine and honest. He also noticed during lunch that she seemed to have developed an interest in his friend.

“It might not be so wonderful when we get our first foot of snow,” Jeff cautioned.

“Hey, Tom says you’ve been turning heads at soccer,” Jack commented.

“’Take no prisoners,’ that’s my motto, Jack,” Jeff grinned.

“Does that apply to Bryan Cosgrove and his buddies, too?” Jack asked back with a knowing smile.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “That dickhead,” he muttered. “Why? What have you heard?”

“Only that you promised to take him apart at the seams if you catch him bothering anyone.”

“That lardass doesn’t have any seams. He’s a solid piece of excrement.”

“Who’s Bryan Cosgrove?” asked Kathy who was still meeting the rest of her classmates.

“The member of the Class of 1987 who is in the early lead for the ‘Biggest Dickhead’ award at our graduation,” Jeff said.

“He is at that,” Jack laughed. He looked around the cafeteria and spotted the dickhead in question, pointing him out to Kathy. “Him. Avoid him at all costs.”

“I will, thanks.”

“‘All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray... ‘“ Jeff sang to himself two months later while he put books in his locker.

Jeff couldn’t honestly see any leaves on the trees or the ground, not since Mother Nature blessed them with a foot of snow over the previous weekend. The sky was, however, the color of lead as the lyrics indicated. Jeff thought that it might be warmer on the ice today, since the outside temperature was an unusual twenty-two degrees Fahrenheit. It was normally in the high forties near the end of October. All that now stood between Jeff and a good workout was a last-period study hall.

Jeff saw some movement to his right as he was about to close his locker. He discovered it was his two best friends, Kathy and Jack when he looked closer. He was about to call out to them when he saw them step closer to each other and give each other a quick kiss.

’Whoa!’ Jeff thought. ’When did that happen?’

Jeff was by no means upset. He had thought that the two would make a good couple for some time, he was just startled by the sight. Jeff didn’t remember seeing anything out of the ordinary over the last two months, despite the three having lunch together since the start of school. Kathy and Jack broke their clinch after another quick kiss. Kathy walked away from Jeff and Jack toward her last-period class.

Jack also had study hall and had to pass Jeff to get there. Jeff silently closed his locker, and leaned against it while he waited for his friend. Jack watched Kathy walk away until she rounded a corner and disappeared. He turned to head to study hall, and did a double-take when he noticed his friend Jeff leaning against his locker with a bemused smile. Jack shook his head as he walked down the hall and came alongside Jeff.

“No wise-ass comments from you, fella,” Jack warned him.

Jeff looked hurt. “Who me?” he asked.

“Yes, you, you jerk,” Jack grumbled back.

Jeff threw an arm around his friend’s shoulders as they continued down the hall towards their last class.

“Hey, bud, I’m happy for you two, really,” Jeff told Jack in a serious tone. “You know you two are my best friends, right?”

“Yeah,” Jack admitted. “Thanks, Jeff. I was worried you might be upset. That I was blocking you or something.”

“Hey, I think Kathy’s great and very pretty, but I’m not interested in her that way,” Jeff admitted to Jack.

“So you’re not gonna move in on my girlfriend?”

“Who me?” Jeff repeated. The two laughed as they made their way to study hall.

“You guys will get ‘em next year,” Phil D’Etremont, the senior captain of the hockey team said. The members of the team sat in the visitor’s locker room at Amherst High School’s rink, having just lost their last game of the year.

“Sure we will,” sophomore Paul Benton muttered.

“Remember us little people when you and your BU teammates raise the Beanpot next year, Phil,” Jeff called out.

Phil threw some wadded-up tape at him. “I gotta make the team first,” he cautioned. “I gotta go up against all of the guys who are already there and all of the other incoming freshmen. Those guys usually come from championship teams.”

“So?” Jeff snorted. “Going five-and-fifteen will make you that much more hungry. You’ll blow those guys away, Phil.”

Phil gave him a nod and a smile as he began unlacing his skates. Jeff saw that the conversation was over and did the same. Phil waited for Jeff to leave the locker room and began to walk toward the bus with him.

“Hey, thanks for trying to keep things positive back there,” he said to Jeff. “Losing your last game of the year, last game of high school sucks. Don’t let Benton bring you guys down if things get rough next year.”

“I’m not worried about Benton. He’d be unhappy if he won the lottery. How many sports clichés do you want to hear?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know - ‘You can’t win ‘em all,’ ‘that’s the price you pay if you wanna play the game,’ and, let’s not forget my personal favorite: ‘you guys will get ‘em next year.’”

Phil groaned. “You wanna get cross-checked, don’t you?”

“Are you guys doing anything for vacation?” Kathy asked while the friends ate their lunch together in early March.

Kathy’s family would head back to Southern California to visit friends and family. Her family hadn’t gone anywhere over the Christmas/New Year’s break. They also hadn’t seen many of the people they were going to visit since they moved east.

“No, we’re not doing anything this year,” Jeff mumbled as he ate his sandwich. “I’ll be working at Bilzarian’s for those two weeks.”

His family hadn’t planned anything for the upcoming vacation because his sister Kara was still in public school. Thompkins held their spring vacation over a single two-week period in mid-March, rather than over one week in February and one week in April like public schools in Massachusetts did. Going away would be too difficult with two different school schedules to contend with.

Jack chimed in with, “My family’s headed north to do some skiing.”

Jack was excited, for skiing was the one sport he could participate in despite his leg. As long as he didn’t have to ski through moguls all day his hip and leg could take the exercise. He’d never come off a mountain if he had his way.

“Spring vacation means the baseball season is almost upon us!” Jeff said, smiling. “It’ll be good to get back out under the sun.”

“Sometimes I think you’ll turn into a baseball as much as you’ve been talking about it,” Jack joked while he threw a grape at his friend. Jeff caught it and popped it into his mouth. “When are you going to start getting ready for the season?”

“I’m still doing my daily workouts, naturally,” Jeff said. “I’ve been using a batting trainer at home since hockey ended. I’ve also been tossing a ball around with my dad for a couple of weeks.”

The snow melted away before the end of February. The winter had been mild despite the way it started. Joe and Jeff Knox ventured outside to throw baseballs as soon as the ground was clear.

Jeff stacked fifty-pound bags of ice melt at Bilzarian’s Hardware about three weeks later. Since it was New England, snow was possible at any time through late May, though the increasing outdoor temperatures made needing ice melt less and less of a probable occurrence. He stretched and wiped his brow after placing the last bag on the stack.

Jeff wondered how Jack and Kathy were each enjoying their vacations. He couldn’t begrudge either the fun they were having with their families. Both of his friends worked hard at school. All three of the friends were near the top of their small class. Class sizes at Thompkins were smaller than at local public schools, but the academics there were much more rigorous.

“You okay, Jeff?” came Steve Bilzarian’s voice. Jeff turned to find his boss walking towards him.

“No worries, Mr. B.,” Jeff responded. “Just wondering how my friends are doing during their vacations.”

“Where are they?” the older man asked.

“One of my friends is up in Vermont, skiing with his family. The other’s back out in California where she’s originally from. She moved out here at the beginning of August last year.”

“To be honest, I was a little surprised when you came in last month asking if you could work during your vacation.”

Jeff shrugged. “With Mom and I at Thompkins and Kara still at Enfield Middle this year, it was a bit tough for us to plan a vacation. We’ll be headed to Maine this summer instead.”

Steve Bilzarian nodded. “Are you going to be coming back to work here this summer?”

“Yes, Sir, I’d like to,” Jeff answered, nodding.

“I can offer you a full forty-hour schedule at four dollars and fifteen cents an hour if you do come back.” Jeff stared at the man in shock. Steve caught the look and asked, “Jeff, do you understand how hard you work? Especially compared to other high school kids we’ve hired in the past?” Jeff continued to stare. “Come on over here and sit down,” Steve said, motioning to a row of five-gallon paint buckets. The pair sat after Steve turned two of them upside-down.

“Jeff, I planned to hire two stock boys to do the work you do if you had decided not to come back. That’s why I’m offering you the increase.”

“Sir, that’s eighty cents more an hour than I was making just a year ago! Less than a year ago, actually!”

“You’ve earned it, Jeff,” Steve Bilzarian replied. “Honestly, I shouldn’t have expected anything less once I found out that you were Joe Knox’s son.” Joe Knox’s reputation for hard work was well-known locally.

“Thank you very much, Sir,” Jeff answered. It was the only way he could. Jeff did the math in his head and realized he’d been given the opportunity to earn over one hundred dollars a week after taxes.

A noticeable chill lingered in the air when baseball practice started a week later. Jeff ran back and forth across the outfield in an easy jog with the rest of his team to warm up. The ground was still soft under his feet, but it was firm enough that there was no mud bubbling up with each footfall. The coach called the group together after a few minutes.

“All right, gentlemen. Let’s have two lines, about ten yards apart, and let’s get some soft-toss started.”

There wouldn’t be any hard throwing for about a week. It would take that long for their arms to become accustomed to that sort of activity. It wouldn’t look good to have players blowing out their shoulders on the first day of practice. After the soft-toss came base-running practice. Many of the freshmen who had come out for the tryouts were winded after just warm-ups and the easy jogs around the base paths.

Jeff was the exception. He now did one hundred and fifty push-ups and sit-ups a day along with running close to three miles. The workout the baseball team had gone through so far wasn’t much in comparison. The coaching staff noticed his stamina though there were no comments made aloud, not yet.

“Is he going to make us run all day?” Bill Sampson gasped. The baseball team started their fifth circuit of the playing fields at Thompkins. Their last game had been a disaster and Coach Kessler was teaching them about mental focus.

“Probably,” Jeff said as he came alongside the slower runner. “A month into the season we shouldn’t be making the mistakes we made yesterday. No, don’t stop, Bill,” he cautioned when Sampson started to slow. “It’ll hurt worse if you do.”

“What are you? A machine or something?”

“We’ve only gone about two miles,” Jeff commented, shrugging. “I usually run about three or four a day.”

Jeff grunted when he landed on the outfield grass. He scrambled to his feet and threw the baseball to the shortstop, keeping the baserunner at first. It was the third inning in the next-to-last game and Coach Kessler had tapped him for the start in left field today. Jeff brushed himself off and returned to his position.

’That’s the third or fourth ball I’ve had to dive for,’ Jeff thought to himself as he did. ’That doesn’t even take into account the fly balls I’ve caught. They’ve already got Bill’s number today for sure.’

“Lay off the high ones,” Tom Jarrett cautioned while Jeff put on his batting helmet.

Thompkins trailed three-to-one in the bottom of the seventh inning, but they were beginning to rally and had two men on base. Jeff nodded and headed to the on-deck circle. He’d struck out twice already in the game on high pitches.

The batter in front of him struck out for the first out of the inning. A double-play ball would end the game. Jeff stepped into the batter’s box and got himself ready. High pitches were all Jeff saw for the first three pitches thrown, but he didn’t chase them. Jeff looked at his coach for the sign and blinked when he received ‘swing away.’

The opposing pitcher tried to blow a three-and-oh fastball by him, but Jeff had been waiting on just that pitch. He drove the ball deep into the right-centerfield gap, catching the outfielders flat-footed. Jeff dropped the bat, sprinted away from home, and dug hard for first. He stepped on the inside corner of the bag and kept going. A line drive into the gap was a near-guaranteed double.

Jeff looked at Coach Kessler in the third base coach’s box and saw the man pinwheeling his arm, signaling Jeff to continue to third base. Jeff didn’t slow. His cleats threw dirt as he continued around second and sped towards third. Jeff stole a glance towards the outfield while he rounded the bag. Their centerfielder was just getting to the ball. He could hear the other team yelling instructions behind him as he concentrated on where he was headed. He saw Coach Kessler signaling to slide to the inside of the bag.

Jeff leaned forward, bringing himself lower to the ground before launching himself at third. His right hand reached for the bag. He hooked his forearm around the bag so he wouldn’t overshoot it. Jeff held on as his momentum swung him around. The third baseman slapped the tag down.

“SAFE!” the umpire yelled, causing the Thompkins fans to cheer wildly at the bang-bang play.

Jeff asked for time and the umpire granted it. Coach Kessler slapped him on the helmet while he brushed off the dirt from the base path.

“Good job, Jeff! Nice hustle!”

“Thanks, Coach,” he answered, stepping back onto third.

“Okay, still just one out and now we’re tied three-to-three thanks to that hit. We may win this one yet.”

Tom Jarrett stepped up to the plate and dug his cleats into the box as he stared out at the pitcher. The other coach tried to encourage his pitcher from the dugout, but the kid was rattled. Tom blasted the first pitch he saw back over the pitcher’s head and into centerfield. Jeff trotted home with the winning run.

“Nice game, kid,” Tom said later while they carried equipment back to the gym.

“Thanks. That hit felt pretty good.”

“How’s your head?” Tom asked with a grin.

“I think my ears are still ringing from people slapping my helmet.”

“That’s what happens when you lay off the high ones. It’s too bad we were eliminated from the playoffs a few weeks ago, or that the season wasn’t a little longer. We’re finally looking pretty good.”

“Like the Sox say, Tom: there’s always next year.”

“Well, our freshman year is just about over,” Kathy noted while the group of friends walked through the halls during the last week of school in May.

“Yep,” agreed Jack. “All that stands between us and vacation is the wonderful experience of exams.”

“Should be fun,” Jeff added.

“Like you have anything to worry about,” Jack retorted. “You could skip the next two weeks of school and you’d still get an A in Señora Alcala’s class!” Isabelle Alcala was Jeff’s Spanish teacher. “Not that you won’t be getting straight As...”

“And you two won’t?” Jeff asked his friends as they all entered the cafeteria.

A month later, while Jeff worked his full-time shifts at Bilzarian’s, his report card came to his house. It proved his friend’s prediction right.

’I see plenty of clouds, but I don’t see any silver linings,’ Jeff thought to himself as he glanced outside.

Vacationing in Milbridge, Maine was great but there wasn’t much to do if the weather didn’t cooperate. Overcast and sixty was a far cry from the sunny and nineties of the past few days.

Jeff walked back to the couch and picked up his book again. He was feeling pretty proud of himself: he was no longer a freshman, his report card arrived with straight As, and he’d gotten another raise at Bilzarian’s. Life was good.

Jeff heard Kara’s door open upstairs and her footsteps approach the stairs. She pounded down them wearing a sweatshirt and long pants. She tore open the door and slammed it behind her. Jeff could see her striding down the walk through the window, but lost sight of her as she turned towards the ocean. She’d looked pissed off about something.

’What’s eating her?’ Jeff wondered a moment before his earlier good mood evaporated.

Jeff ran up to his room, pulled on a sweatshirt, and bolted out of the house. He couldn’t see Kara when he reached the street. He tried to think of where Kara might have gone, but then remembered where he saw her sitting many times over the last few days. He jogged towards the small beach the family had enjoyed during their stay. Kara sat on the jetty, looking out over the ocean from the rocks there. He watched from the edge of the road for a few moments, but she didn’t move. He carefully made his way out along the rocks.

“Kara?” he called when he reached her. His sister turned and squinted up at him but said nothing. “Is it okay if I sit down here and talk to you?”

The look on her face suggested that wouldn’t be her first choice but she just shrugged. He decided that wasn’t a ‘no’ so he sat. It was a few minutes before either of them said anything.

“Kara, I want to apologize to you,” Jeff finally said. Kara glanced at him with a neutral look.

“For what?” she asked.

“I haven’t treated you very well over the past year.” She kept quiet when he paused so he pressed forward. “I guess I was so focused on trying to change who I was before I got to Thompkins that I kept changing until I turned into a jerk. A self-absorbed jerk.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked. “That you’re a jerk?”

“When we were younger we used to spend hours in the woods behind the house exploring together. We used to spend almost as much time trying to figure out some way to pull pranks on Mom or Dad. In the winter we’d spend hours having snowball fights or sledding together. There weren’t many other kids who grew up near us, so we were always with one another. I stopped doing all of that this past year. I abandoned you. The ten minutes we’ve been sitting here together might be the longest we’ve voluntarily spent together in all of that time.”

Kara turned to look back at the ocean again. She was silent for many moments so Jeff held his tongue. He also turned back to the water. Jeff figured she was preparing a response, but he wasn’t prepared for her to slug him in the shoulder. The force of the impact surprised him.

“I HATE YOU!” she screamed at him while tears rolled down her face. “You get a job, go off to another school, make new friends, and leave me all alone? You left me behind like some day-old newspaper you already read! I was drowning in your wake! I was lost!” Jeff had never seen Kara so mad.

“You totally changed! You stopped being the shy brother I could talk to and turned into a confident boy who didn’t seem to need me anymore! What did I do, Jeff? Huh? TELL ME! WHAT DID I DO?”

Kara buried her face in her hands and began sobbing, the sound audible over the crash of the nearby waves. Jeff tried to hug her, not quite knowing what else to do. Kara twisted out of his grasp and began hitting him in the chest over and over. His sister may have been the quiet, artistic type, but she inherited enough of their father’s strong build for the punches to hurt. The venom she loosed on him stung more than the blows that rained down.

Jeff reached past the flailing arms and pulled his little sister into the hug he tried to give her earlier. He pulled her close enough that she had to stop hitting him. Kara continued to sob and pulled her arms to her chest as he drew her to his.

“You did nothing wrong, Kara,” he assured her. “It was all my fault.” Kara cried louder. He began whispering, “I’m sorry,” over and over.

Jeff held his little sister for some time.