16 December 2004 – Maine Street, Stoneham, Maine

Gentle knocking drew Jeff from his sleep. The clock on the table next to the bed showed it was after nine in the morning. Glancing around he didn’t recognize where he was at first, but he soon remembered his arrival at the Dufault house the night before. Jeff guessed who was on the other side of the door.

“Come on in, Annie,” he called. His friend opened the door and peeked around it. Jeff smiled wanly at her and motioned her inside. Annie placed a glass of water on the nightstand.

“How are you doing, Jeff?”

“I don’t know, Ann. I don’t know. At least I slept.”

“Get dressed and come over to the restaurant. I hear they make a pretty good breakfast.”

“Okay,” Jeff sighed. “It’s not like I’ve got anything else to do.” He flipped the covers off and swung his temporary bionics off the bed. They both stared at it for a few minutes.

“Not yet, Jeff,” Annie interrupted when he began to say something. “Come have breakfast at the Over Easy. Dad and I will fill you full of food and coffee first, then we’ll go from there, okay?” Jeff nodded. “I put some towels in the bathroom for you. Do you need something to cover your leg so you can shower?”

“A trash bag and some duct tape?”

Brian looked up from his post in the eatery’s kitchen when Jeff entered the restaurant thirty minutes later. The calm, confident walk he remembered from Jeff’s previous visits was missing, replaced by a shuffling, tortured gait. Brian figured the metal cage around Jeff’s leg didn’t help much, either.

Jeff slid into an empty booth and Annie slid two eggs over easy on corned beef hash onto the table in front of him. A small plate of buttered whole wheat toast, a mug of black coffee, and a glass of orange juice joined the large platter. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle smile before moving to her next table.

Jeff picked at his food before tucking into it in earnest. Anyone who’d been in the military would have laughed at him had they seen the way he ate. He looked like a new recruit at Basic Training shoveling food in madly before the drill sergeant told him mealtime was over. Most civilians would have been horrified. When he was almost finished Annie cruised by and dropped a second breakfast beside the first. Jeff wasn’t surprised he put such a good dent in the second meal. He’d missed dinner the night before, after all.

Once he finished that meal Annie cruised by again to clear the table. She refilled his coffee and left him to his thoughts. Giving the far wall a thousand-yard stare, Jeff sipped at his coffee and tried to process the past two months. He thought his life was about to end when the RPG streaked toward him. After marrying Keiko and watching the birth of their children, seeing his wife bedside when he woke up in Germany was one of the high points of his life. Surprising his family and seeing their joy at his return to Massachusetts ranked just behind that. From those dizzying heights the rest of his time at home seemed like a slow, downward spiral.

There was his family’s gaffe on his first full day home, then the news that his return to DMD was being blocked by an apparent egomaniac Sean couldn’t dislodge. Jeff’s own inability to shake himself from his bad mood. Feeling cutoff and alone. Heather’s sudden reappearance last night after three years of zero contact. His thoughts swirled into a confusing mass of images from Lancaster, Benning, and Afghanistan. Jeff put down his coffee and rubbed at his eyes.

He felt someone standing next to him. Jeff opened his eyes and saw a figure he never expected to see again: his wife.

“Our annual two-week rental of Aggie’s house does not come around again until next July, husband. You are early.” Keiko tried to slide into the booth next to Jeff but he was rooted in place.

“What are you doing here?”

“I believe I will be eating breakfast, Jeffrey. I left Lancaster before six o’clock this morning and Brian’s food will be much more palatable than some drive-thru breakfast sandwich.”

Jeff shook his head. “Why are you here?”

Keiko looked pained. “Have you forgotten you are my husband, Jeffrey? Have you forgotten our vows to each other? ‘In good times and in bad? In sickness and in health?’”

“But what I did last night, Keiko. The look you gave me.”

“That look was for Heather, husband. Thomas and I opened the door to check on you two just before you called her a ‘spoiled little bitch.’ I have refrained from using such language because she was your friend before we met but your assessment is correct. I gave her an earful after you left which left no doubt as to the level of my displeasure. As I have repeatedly stated, you are my husband. I have your back.”

Keiko gave him a hip check and Jeff finally slid over, allowing her to sit next to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight. Jeff didn’t move.

“Jeffrey, if you do not put your arms around me, I will pinch you so hard...”

He complied right away. Keiko felt him shaking not long after. She looked up to see her husband silently crying in relief. They held each other until Annie placed Keiko’s breakfast on their table and sat down across from them. Jeff looked up at his friend with narrowed eyes.

“You dimed me out, didn’t you?”

“Uh huh!” Annie replied while nodding and wearing a wide smile.

“You’re dead to me,” Jeff said to her. He wore his own smile when he said it, though. “Thank you.”

Jeff sat next to Keiko while she ate, his hand resting on her thigh as he enjoyed the renewed feeling of closeness. He had plenty he wanted to say to her, but not here in the restaurant. Jeff felt so off-center that he wasn’t sure he could hold himself together long enough to say what needed to be said. Annie dropped her house keys on the table before clearing Keiko’s plates.

“You two obviously need to talk. Keiko, take this big lummox over to our house, sit down in the living room, and make him talk to you. I suspect he’s been talking at you since he came home, if he’s talked at all. Jeff, let your wife in. She wouldn’t have driven three hours to get up here if she didn’t care about you. Make yourselves at home. There’s root beer in the fridge. Dad and I won’t be done here until around three this afternoon.”

Keiko looked at her husband after they settled into their chairs at the Dufaults’. She accepted a water while Jeff opened a root beer for himself. Jeff also looked everywhere but at Keiko.

“I must apologize to you, Jeffrey.”

That got his attention.

“Apologize to me? Why on earth would you need to apologize to me? I should be apologizing to you!”

“I have hardly spoken to you in any substantive manner since your return, Jeffrey. I, as well as the children, believed you would begin to talk to us about your deployment soon after you came home. We thought you would need only a little time before you opened up to us. When you did not, I attempted to spur such an occurrence by surprising you – ambushing you – with having Thomas and Heather come by the house last evening. And I...” Keiko began sobbing. “I cannot believe I forgot about you...” She buried her face in her hands.

Jeff rose from his chair and sat next to Keiko. He wrapped her in his arms.

“I won’t tell you that didn’t hurt, Keiko. It ate at me for more than a few days, that’s for sure, and it still hurts when I think of it. But I did the same to you and the kids. I got wrapped up in my own routine during training and once I was in Afghanistan. Someone recently pointed out that I could have at least called you and left messages for all of you on a somewhat regular basis. It was too easy to cloak myself in the culture and relative secrecy of the Rangers.”

“Jeffrey, neither of us is blameless, that is certain. I miss our talks. I miss laying in bed with you and simply talking about our days or issues which have arisen with the children. I miss the connection we discovered when we met and the deeper one we developed after we reunited.”

“I’ve really closed myself off, haven’t I?”

“Talking to a brick wall might have been easier. And you called frequently before you deployed, if you remember.”

“I have a lot of other people to apologize to also, starting with the boys and Sabrina. Is there a plan for today?”

“We have your family’s Christmas party tomorrow. We must return home today if we wish to attend.”

“Do you wish to attend?”

“I enjoy the opportunity to reconnect with your cousins, aunts, and uncles at the party whenever we go. I believe it would be helpful for you to do so as well.” Keiko looked up at him. “Jeffrey, why did you leave last night?”

He looked out at the woods behind Brian and Annie’s home.

“I’ve been feeling like I was at the end of my rope for a week or so, Keiko. Honestly, I feel like you’ve been treating me like a child since I came home, especially when you went off on me for visiting Ken on Veterans Day. I understand now that you were scared that I could have been seriously hurt while driving in a manner I was unfamiliar with. I probably should have had much more practice before I attempted even that short drive. Chet Lazarashvili eloquently advised me to get my act together when I went to the range last week.”

“I can only imagine the manner in which Chester made his recommendation,” Keiko said with a smirk.

“Yeah. He told me to get my head out of my ass. I think that was part of what bothered me last night, that I didn’t have my act together any more. That, and how sudden all of these transitions have been recently. They all piled up pretty fast. Seeing Heather like that, without any warning at all, shocked the shit out of me. To say I still have a lot of anger inside over her actions might be the biggest understatement of the decade. I certainly let her have it last night, almost in the literal sense, too. The shame of what I nearly did was also a large part of my reaction.”

“Did you really believe that I would leave or throw you out based on what you said to Heather? I am thankful I was able to stop you before you hit her, however. That would have been much harder to deal with. No, everything you told her was correct. It was honest. I know it was not easy for her to hear, but it was the right thing for her to hear and it is about time she heard it. She needed and needs to understand how much she has hurt you, husband. She is genuine, I believe, in her desire to try and make amends.”

“I need to talk to her. I should call and ask if I can visit with her soon, maybe after Christmas when we’ve both had a chance to cool off. The hell of it is, as angry as I am with her, I want my big sister back. If she feels the same about her little brother, would you be able to live with that?” Keiko nodded to Jeff. He looked Keiko in the eye.

“I am very sorry that I ran. You are my partner this life, my wife, and I love you. I should trust that our love will help me through this period of uncertainty. I should have faith that Sean and Seamus will figure out the issues I face at DMD, also.” Keiko raised an eyebrow and Jeff filled her in. “I should have faith that my family and friends will help me through these challenges.”

Keiko hugged him again. She felt that the wall Jeff erected after his homecoming was finally beginning to crack. They snuggled on the couch together in silence, enjoying their closeness again.

“So what’s the plan, Keiko?”

“There is a restaurant in Portsmouth we can visit for lunch. Obviously, we both will have to drive as both of our vehicles are here. Outside of that, we can also go out for dinner or we can purchase something to cook at home.”

“Why don’t we go out for dinner? I promise to be better company than I have been recently.”

Keiko and Jeff made sure to make the bed and clean up the Dufaults’ guest room before they walked back to the Over Easy hand-in-hand. Jeff realized that he hadn’t even held Keiko’s hand like this since his initial return to Lancaster. He swallowed a few times as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him again. Keiko noticed this and squeezed his hand.

“We cannot change the past. We can only learn from it. We move forward from this point, Jeffrey.”

They said goodbye to Annie and Brian at the restaurant, thanking them for their help the night before. The Dufaults promised to drive down to Lancaster after New Year’s. Keiko and Jeff did stop for lunch in Portsmouth as she suggested earlier. Jeff was grateful Keiko brought clean clothes for him when she drove to Stoneham that morning. The jeans he now wore blocked the wind much better than the thin nylon track pants he’d been wearing when he fled. With no need to rush home Keiko and Jeff lingered over their lunch at the waterfront restaurant. Mayumi would pick up the kids from school.

“Did you speak with Thomas?” Keiko asked. Jeff nodded while he sipped his water.

“I called him at work. I asked him to ask Heather if we could talk after the holidays.”

“Are you ready for the discussion you need to have with her?”

“We should have had it three years ago. Maybe if we had, last night wouldn’t have happened.”

“You must keep your anger, though justified, in check. Do not shy away from the uncomfortable parts of what must be discussed, however. If you do indeed want your sister back you must both be honest.”

Jeff’s kids were somewhat slow to warm to his attempt to apologize, which wasn’t so surprising to him in a way. As adults he and Keiko better understood how confusing emotions could be, even if they reacted to them in much the same fashion. He made headway in convincing them their ‘old’ dad was trying to make a comeback by the middle of the following week, a few days before Christmas. He hoped surprising them with a trip to a Bruins game on the 26th would be well-received.

As Scottish poet Robert Burns once wrote however, “The best laid schemes of mice and men / Go often askew.” Jeff wasn’t sleeping well and his right leg started to hurt in a different way by the morning of the 23d. They say denial isn’t just a river in Egypt and Jeff proved that. He’d been trying to ignore the increasing pain where the fixator pins entered his leg, along with the growing redness that accompanied that pain. He could feel his leg was warm when he touched it. Combined with the other signs he was almost certain it was infected.

“Were you waiting for gangrene to set in?” Nina Quentin snapped as soon as Jeff took off his sweatpants and she saw his right leg.

She hadn’t seen him since the previous Wednesday, the day he fled his house. His leg looked horrible. It was an angry red, swollen thing with taut and shiny skin.

“Get in the damned chair! Now!” she barked as she pointed to a nearby wheelchair.

He complied while looking like a little boy who’d been caught doing something. Nina shoved the chair under him after he turned to sit, knocking him off his feet and whisking him away.

“Do you want me to get the bone saw right now?” Dr. Bowers, his orthopedic surgeon, asked after a quick glance at Jeff’s leg. “Do you want to lose your leg?”

“No, ma’am.”

Dr. Bowers looked at Nina Quentin.

“Men,” they said in unison.

They continued to discuss his condition – and his stupidity – as if he wasn’t there while wheeling him to the emergency room. Once in the ER the nurses there clucked in disapproval while getting him into a too-short and drafty gown, starting an IV, and casting exasperated looks his way. Best of all they called Keiko.

Twenty minutes later his wife strolled into the ER. For a moment Jeff regretted signing the HIPAA waiver for her before his deployment. She wore a look he saw his mother give his father many times while growing up, and received himself from Keiko more than once since their wedding. It asked, ‘Are you a complete idiot?’

“Apparently I am,” Jeff said without preamble.

“In that case, Jeffrey, I hope you enjoy the meals here over the next two or three days. They tell me they will need to give you intravenous antibiotics for that long to get ahead of the infection.”

“Yeah,” he grumbled. “Sorry.”

“How did an infection crop up now? I would have thought one would have appeared immediately after your surgeries, not over a month later.”

“I’m guessing the shower I took at Annie and Brian’s. I didn’t clean the fixator the night before and the trash bag I covered it with leaked a little. I think the water that leaked in washed bacteria into my leg.”

“This is not exactly how I envisioned our first Christmas after your return from Afghanistan.”

“I would imagine it isn’t, no. I wouldn’t count on me getting out of here until at least Sunday or Monday, though. With Christmas on Saturday I doubt I’ll be discharged until at least then.”

Keiko sighed. “We will make the most of things, Jeffrey.”

They removed Jeff’s fixator – his leg was strong enough to support his weight without it now anyway – and kept him at Donovan until Monday. Jeff had to admit that Christmas dinner in the hospital hadn’t been too bad. The kitchen staff went out of their way not to turn the roast beef into shoe leather covered in axle grease. More importantly the nurses shared their holiday cookies and baked goods with the patients. And Keiko, the kids, and the Takahashis stopped by on Christmas afternoon.

Another important part of Jeff’s stay was receiving the visitors who came by on Sunday the 26th. He lay in his inclined hospital bed staring at the ceiling that afternoon when he heard a knock at his door. Shocked by who stood there, he sighed to himself before waving Seamus and Sean Brophy in to his room.

“Mr. Brophy, Mr. Brophy,” he said while nodding to each of them in turn. “Would you gentlemen care to sit?”

“Not unless you call us by our first names, Jeff,” Seamus said with a slight edge to his voice. “We’re not going to start that discussion again, are we?”

“I wasn’t sure if I should still call you by your first names after my behavior last week.”

“You mean the behavior which mirrored mine three years ago?” Sean asked while taking a seat. “Jeff, you’re a valuable employee and, more importantly, my best friend. Dad and I absolutely DO NOT want to lose you, especially not over what happened last week or with what Haussmann pulled in his contract. You’re the one who got DMD up and running, developed all the contacts; and you’re the reason those towns, and the Army, signed contracts with us.”

“The truth is, Jeff, we’re the ones who screwed up,” Seamus interjected. “Things in Malden picked up at the same time we hired Haussmann, and that’s why we missed that clause in his contract. In fact, things continue to get busier for us in both divisions.”

“Regardless of my tantrum last week, Seamus, I’m not going to be available to help you guys out until after I ETS next year,” Jeff reminded his boss’ boss.

“Jeff, if I understand how the medical hold units work, you’re basically on your own for the day after your morning accountability formation?” Sean asked.

“Well, basically. When I’m done with whatever appointments I have that day is when I’m really on my own. Why?”

“I think I have a solution for our mutual Haussmann problem.”

With Jeff’s admission to the hospital over Christmas, he’d been unable to bring the kids to the Garden to watch the Bruins on the 26th. They’d go to a different game, which worked out better in the end, anyway. He still had trouble calling the new arena at North Station ‘The Fleet Center.’ Fleet was a brand of enema products, after all. The end of his admission to, and incarceration at Donovan Army Hospital heralded the arrival of the agreed-upon date for Jeff’s meeting with Heather.

Jeff’s palms started to sweat when they turned onto the Pelleys’ tree-lined street. I don’t think I was this nervous when I first tried to talk to Pauline, he thought, remembering his first girlfriend in high school. Keiko placed an encouraging hand on his back as they walked to the Pelleys’ front door. Jeff held his breath while he waited for that door to open. Thankfully, it was TC who answered their knock.

“Hey, Jeff.”

“Hey, Reb. Thanks for getting her to agree to speak with me, especially after I flipped out on her.”

“She knows she needs to talk to you even if she’s not looking forward to it. Come on in. She’s out on the sun porch.”

Jeff dried his hands on his jeans once more while Keiko walked into the kitchen with TC. He approached the door to the porch with some trepidation, took a deep breath, and turned the knob. Heather looked up as he stepped through the doorway. The years had been kind to her, as they had to her mother and grandmother. He could still see the beautiful young woman he first met at Westover in 1988. Unfortunately he could also still see fear in her eyes. He sat a good ten feet from her so she wouldn’t get too anxious.

“Thank you for agreeing to talk to me today, Heather,” Jeff offered in a quiet voice. Heather nodded in return but said nothing. “I’m very sorry for how I behaved the other night.”

“Why did you behave that way?” she asked cautiously, getting right to the point. “I mean, I think I already know, but I’d like to hear you explain how you felt.”

“‘Angry’ is the easy answer,” Jeff sighed. “I tried my damnedest to forget all about you after spending those two years trying to talk to you. I decided to put you out of my head – or tried to – before my deployment six months ago, Heather. Part of it was that you surprised me, too. I was certain that I’d never talk to you again, maybe not even see you again. To have you suddenly be three feet from me, and talking to me, startled me. Rangers tend to react violently when we’re startled. It keeps us alive.

“You know that your family’s still been in contact with me since my announcement in 2001. You mentioned it yourself that night. I’ve seen Jeff and TC a couple of times since I came back. I’ve still been going by the house in Greenwich on my visits out there, also.”

“I know. Grammy hasn’t been shy about telling me when you visit.”

“Your grandmother? Shy?” Jeff chuckled. “I doubt she knows the meaning of the word any more than the rest of your family does.” Heather finally cracked a smile. “The thing with keeping in touch with your family is that it also kept me from completely forgetting about you, Heather, even when I wanted to. The hell of it is I don’t think I really wanted to forget about you. You’re my big sister, after all.”

Heather began to cry quietly, looking down at the floor. Jeff stood and walked over to the chair next to hers. Once seated he gently took her hand. She looked up at him, her green eyes still leaking tears.

“I’ve never been ashamed of anything I’ve done in my life, more than raising my hand to you that night, Heather. That’s a very large part of why I ran away. On my last mission I had hours of conversation with one of our Afghan hosts about how women should be treated, at least in my eyes. In those conversations I swore up and down that I’d never raised my hand to a woman, nor would I ever, and within a month of returning home all of that was the biggest lie I’ve ever told. The look on Keiko’s face after she stopped me was a factor, too.”

“I’m sure it can’t compare to the very large piece of her mind she gave me after you drove off,” Heather chuckled as she wiped her face. “I think Grammy’s been giving her lessons.”

“I also have to apologize for calling you a spoiled bitch, Heather. That was incredibly unfair to you. A spoiled bitch wouldn’t have suggested stopping at Bragg on the way to a vacation in Myrtle Beach, nor would she have sent me something to cheer me up. Been my date at my little sister’s wedding, shared your grandparents and your mom with me, gone to a former girlfriend’s house with me, or named her son after me. You’ve included me and my family in your life as much as I’ve included you and yours in mine.”

“Jeff, don’t try to make me out to be blameless in this,” Heather protested. “If I admitted to you in 2001 that I was scared to death when you reenlisted we wouldn’t be where we are right now. We’d have been talking this whole time. Instead I pushed you and your family away. I pushed my other parents, my sister, and sister-in-law away along with my nieces and nephews.” She cracked another smile. “And you were my date to Kara’s wedding, remember?”

“Potaytoe, potahtoe...” he smiled. “I should have remembered what you said to me at Walter Reed after Panama, that I shouldn’t try taking myself out of the brother-sister relationship you’d come to like.”

“I should have remembered that, Jeff,” she said in a whisper. “Can we fix this? Can we have what we had before?”

Jeff shrugged. “It depends how much we both want it, I suppose. I think we both understand that it won’t be exactly like what we had before, regardless of how much effort we put back into it. Like I said earlier I think the main reason I got so angry was I wasn’t ready to let you walk away which, when I think of it, sounds pretty creepy.”

He chuckled. “You know, when I was at Fort Sam Houston, there was a two-week or so stretch where I kept listening to this certain Alice In Chains song over and over. There’s this one line which goes, ‘So I made a big mistake / Try to see it once my way.’ It’s ironic that the same song also asks, ‘Am I wrong? / Have I run too far to get home?’ I guess that’s the question now, right?”

“Like you said, it depends how much we both want to work this out. I was up late last night trying to sort out my thoughts. Needless to say I didn’t sleep well.” She looked Jeff in the eye. “I’d still like to be your sister, if you’ll have me. I know it’ll take a lot of work on both sides to get close to the relationship we used to have, and that we may never get there, but I’d like it if we did.” Jeff nodded in agreement.

“Jeff?” she asked hesitantly. “Would it be okay if I hugged you?”

“No,” he replied and Heather’s face fell. “It’d be perfect.”

Jeff stood, stepped toward her chair, and opened his arms. Heather rose and punched him – lightly – in the chest before stepping into the hug. Jeff heard her sniffle a couple of times as she pressed her face to his chest.

“I’m sorry, Jeff,” she whispered. Jeff kissed the top of her head.

“Me too, Heather. Me too.”

She smiled up at the man who’d been such a big part of her life since 1988.

“Now let’s cut the ‘we’re feeling sorry for ourselves’ bullshit before I kick both of our asses.”

“Why are you wearing that jersey again, Daddy?” asked Sabrina as they waited in line to enter the Bruins game on a cold mid-January afternoon. “It’s not even a Bruins jersey!”

“Asks the girl wearing her mites division team jersey to a Bruins game. I had this one made for a Halloween party your mom and I were supposed to go to the year I reenlisted, Princess. Remember?”

“Daddy, I wasn’t even three and a half when you left for the Army, remember? You were lucky if I remembered to tell you I needed to go potty then.”

Alex and Ryan chuckled at their sister’s example. Jeff knew he would have his hands full while Sabrina grew up. She already showed signs of having his sense of humor, which thrilled her mother to no end. He shook his head and waved the kids down the concourse.

After the mandatory stop at the snack bar they arrived at their seats, which were in the row directly behind the visiting team’s bench and against the glass. They also butted up against the tunnel to the dressing rooms. The kids could try giving the visiting players high-fives if they wanted to. As a defenseman Ryan would definitely want to since his favorite player played defense for the visiting Calgary Flames. Sabrina would want to simply because she was a hockey player. Even Alex seemed eager to try and get the players to slap his hand though he didn’t play hockey.

Jeff’s seat put him directly behind the Flames’ coach, who didn’t prowl back and forth during the game like most coaches. The coach’s preferred position behind the bench blocked Jeff’s rooting for the Bruins from the view of most of his players, though all the Flames fans near him saw it and sent jeers Jeff’s way. The Calgary fan seated next to Jeff struck up a conversation after his initial taunts. They continued their talk throughout the entire game while they watched the action.

“I’m a little surprised you wanted these seats, Jeff, if you’re a lifelong Bruins fan as you’ve said,” Paul Thornton commented toward the end of the game. “That Bruins jersey makes you a bit of a target, too.”

“It’s not a Bruins jersey, Paul.”

“Huh?” Paul leaned over to get a closer look at the front of Jeff’s jersey. “What team is that? Your kids’?”

“No, their jerseys are blue and gold, not black and gold. See?”

“Where’s it from then?”

Before he could answer Paul, Jeff saw the Flames’ coach finally move away from the glass in front of him with two minutes left in the game. He noticed Ryan’s favorite player coming off the ice at the same time. That player would look directly at Jeff when he stepped into the bench area. Jeff stood to increase the chances the player might notice him, which drew more catcalls from the Flames fans around him. Shielding his right hand from his kids’ view with his left, he waited for his chance.

Chris Micklicz stepped off the ice and onto the Flames’ bench, exhausted. When he was certain his foot was securely under him inside the boards he looked up. And nearly tripped. A man wearing a Thompkins Black Bears home hockey jersey smirked at him while flipping him off. It was a smirk he hadn’t seen in over fifteen years. The stern face Chris always wore until the game ended slipped. He broke into a wide smile before pointing to the clock. Jeff nodded in understanding. Paul Thornton and the other Flames fans looked on, stunned.

After the game, which the Flames won, the visitors streamed onto the ice to congratulate each other. Their fans around Jeff sat in silence staring at him while the rest of Calgary’s fans cheered. Jeff watched Chris step off the ice and talk to a security guard at the mouth of the tunnel. Chris looked at him and held up one finger, asking if he was at the game by himself. Jeff held up four fingers, and then indicated his kids were part of that four. Chris nodded. He turned to the security supervisor who joined the first guard and pointed out Jeff and his kids. Alex, Ryan, and Sabrina kept looking back and forth between Chris and Jeff. If they weren’t careful they would give themselves whiplash given how fast they kept turning their heads.

Paul stood to leave still wearing a look of shock on his face.

“It was good to talk to you, Paul,” Jeff offered while extending his hand. Paul nodded mutely before walking up the steps to the exit.

Security staff escorted Jeff and his kids into the normally unseen areas of the arena. Jeff chuckled at the memories which surfaced when he saw Chris’ parents waiting on a service concourse with his wife and kids. Jeff shook hands with Mr. Micklicz – Chris’ father – who greeted him warmly before giving Mrs. Micklicz a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“It’s good to see you, Jeff! How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing well, Mr. Micklicz, thanks. How about you folks?”

“We’ll be better if you’d call us Dave and Kyra now.”

“I’ll work on it, sir.”

“Jeff, I’m guessing these are your three kids?” Kyra asked.

“Yes, ma’am! These guys are Alex, Ryan, and Sabrina. Alex and Ryan will turn eight in mid-March, Sabrina seven in June. Guys, these folks are Mr. and Mrs. Micklicz, Aunt Pauline’s parents.”

Before the introductions could continue with Chris’ wife and kids Chris emerged from the dressing room. He and Jeff wrapped each other in bear hugs while pounding on each other’s backs.

“It seems you still remember everything I taught you back at Thompkins, Chris. You looked pretty good out there tonight. How’ve you been?”

Chris glanced at his two kids and Jeff’s three.

“Great! You’re lucky our kids are around or I’d tell you where you can go! What’s this you teaching me stuff?”

“I just got back from Afghanistan. It’s not like you could do much worse to me than that.”

“Afghanistan? What the hell were you doing there?”

“I was pretty sure I’d wind up there when I reenlisted, Chris,” Jeff pointed out. The Mickliczes blinked in disbelief at what they heard, which surprised Jeff. Surely Pauline told them he reenlisted? “I was a medic with the Army’s Rangers till I was wounded back in October.” Jeff noted the still-stunned silence around him.

“Anyway, these are my kids: Alex, Ryan, and Sabrina. The twins will turn eight in March, Sabrina will turn seven in June.” Jeff leaned closer to his old defensive partner. “You’re Ryan’s favorite player, by the way,” he said in a stage whisper.

“Really? That’s cool!” Chris exclaimed. “Hi, guys! I’m Chris Micklicz. Your dad and I used to play hockey together in high school,” he explained while shaking hands with the Knox kids. Chris noted that Ryan and Sabrina wore hockey jerseys, but Alex didn’t. “Alex, do you not play hockey?”

“No, Mr. Micklicz. I’m a baseball player.”

“I’m sure you’ll be even better than your old man was, too! Let me introduce my family.” Chris introduced his wife Kaarina and their twin boys Aaro and Jari who were two years older than the Knox boys. “Kaari and I met while I was playing in Finland before I got picked up here. We spend the season up in Alberta, obviously, and then split our summers between visiting our families. Kaari brings the boys to visit Gram and Gramps here whenever work brings me near Boston. Where are you now?”

“Well, I convinced the Army to let me recuperate at home, so I’m at our house in Lancaster while I do my rehab at Donovan Army Hospital on Fort Devens. I just got over an infection in my leg which set me back in my rehab. The Rangers will probably cut me loose because of that.” Jeff noticed the five kids getting restless. “Our kids look like they’re getting squirrelly, Chris. I should let you guys go.”

“Oh, like hell you’re gonna disappear on us again!” Dave protested. “We’re heading to a place in Newton for an early dinner, and you four are coming with us!”

“Dad, why didn’t you tell us you went to school with Chris Micklicz? That. Is so. AWESOME!”

Jeff laughed at his daughter’s enthusiasm.

“Princess, you guys weren’t hockey fans when I left in 2001. Chris said he was still playing in the minors up in Canada then and wasn’t that well known yet. He’s always been a down-to-earth guy and I guess I still think of him as simply my friend and a former teammate.”

“Dad?” Ryan chimed in. “Is Mom coming to the restaurant, too?”

“No, buddy, remember she and Sobo drove up to North Conway, New Hampshire for the day? She’s too far away to make it in time. Hey, we’re here! Y’all ready to strap on the ol’ feed bag?”

The kids rolled their eyes at their father.

Once inside Dave told the hostess they were meeting another family for dinner. She led them to a large table where four others awaited them.

“Hey, honey,” Dave called, “we ran into some friends at the game and invited them along. I hope you guys don’t mind.” Pauline Micklicz McGahn bounced out of her chair, rushing over to wrap Jeff in a hug.

“Dammit, Jeff, did you forget how to write?” she chided before hugging the kids in turn. Frank McGahn rose somewhat slower. Jeff noted how thin he was and how white his hair had grown since he last saw Frank in 2001.

“Jeff! Welcome home!”

“Thanks, Frank. Good to see you.” Frank saw Jeff’s eyes flit around, taking in his appearance.

“Cancer,” was his response to the unasked question. Jeff went as pale as Frank’s hair.

“What?” he whispered.

“I’ve been in remission for a little over a year, but chemo kicked my ass and I’m still trying to gain some weight back. I’m okay at the moment.” Jeff had no words. “Come on, come sit down and fill us in on what’s been happening with you as much as you’re allowed to.”

After dinner Jeff found himself chatting quietly with Pauline.

“How are you doing, Jeff? Keiko’s been keeping us up to speed on what you were doing and where you were, but I haven’t heard anything since before Christmas.”

“Not good up until recently, Pauline. I was out of step with everyone and everything here at home when I came back. Keiko, the kids, and I hit a rough spot almost immediately which left me feeling marginalized, alone, and unimportant. Other incidents at home and at my ambulance job reinforced those feelings. I cut myself off from friends and family because of that and stewed in my isolation. I had a bit of a breakthrough in the middle of December, and I’m gonna start back with my old therapist, but I was the proverbial angry young man until then.

“I didn’t make any enemies but I didn’t do myself any favors, either. I had, and still have, lots of folks to apologize to – including you and Frank. That your parents and Chris didn’t know I rejoined the Army – or that I deployed to Afghanistan – surprised me until Frank told me he’d been treated for cancer. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know anything about it!”

Pauline took a deep breath and blew it back out.

“There’s no reason you should have, Jeff. We didn’t tell anyone – not even the kids – for almost two weeks after his biopsy results came back. That’s the real reason we didn’t come to your going-away party. I heard about your party the day before we were told about Frank’s diagnosis. As you can imagine hearing the c-word from his doctor devastated us. Believe me, I would have rather heard that other c-word from him. Everything was rolling along smoothly in life to that point, and then it was like the wheels came off. It was the middle of that October before we told Becca and Rory, and then Halloween before we told the rest of our families.

“My point is, Jeff, that real life often gets in the way of the plan you have for your life. ‘Men plan and the gods laugh,’ right? That saying is as true for you as it was for us. We failed you as friends by cutting you out of our life while we tried to wrap our heads around an uncertain future. Frank became my sole focus. The kids, God bless them, were right there with me. By the time we poked our heads back up you were already in Ranger School and I plain forgot to tell Mom, Dad, and Chris. They asked me about Frank every time I spoke to them, so it was easy for me to get distracted by that topic.” She squeezed his hand.

“Jeff, you’ve been my friend for almost twenty years. Being your friend kept me from turning into a raving bitch like those girls from my class you saw me with on my first day at Thompkins. Being your friend bought me into contact with Jack, Kathy, and Allison – all of whom I’m still in contact with to this day. The time we spent together allowed me to know what I wanted in a relationship once I got to UMass. That allowed me to be ready when Frank entered my life. Because of you I’m married to a husband I’m still madly in love with and we have two wonderful, happy kids. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not important – not even yourself.”