"And just why wouldn't you say anything?"
Haven sighed and buried her face in the armrest of the couch. She could hear Hot Rod yelling from the training area where Achilles was lifting weights. And, somehow, she knew the conversation was about her.
"Well, it's a pretty recent development..." Achilles replied, barely loud enough for her to hear.
"Because of you, I got humiliated in front of the entire Internet! You couldn't have just said something as simple as 'Hey - we're dating' and clarified the situation? No, I had to ask her out and wind up looking like a moron!"
Maybe you are a moron, Haven found herself thinking. It was strange to not be the dumbest person in the room, but Hot Rod seemed to be lowering the bar more and more. Even stupid Haven could clear it.
She ignored them and the conversation turned into a buzz of unintelligible noise for a while. How long, she wasn't sure. When the voices grew louder, she forced herself to sit up and look cute for when they inevitably walked into the room.
"And you!" Hot Rod said as soon as he was in sight, jabbing a finger at Haven. "You just can't stop making yourself the center of attention can you? Attention whore! Slut!"
She resisted the urge to scowl. Achilles was here. She couldn't afford to slip up.
"Stop saying that to her," Achilles said firmly. "Barrier Maiden has done nothing wrong."
Barrier Maiden. Yes. That was who she was. Stupid little Haven was supposed to have gone and died already. She was supposed to be gone, so why was she still here, holding back tears?
No, no, no. There's nothing to be sad about. Haven needed to die. Now Barrier Maiden can take her place and be someone worth something. Anything.
While she'd been lost in thought, Hot Rod had continued ranting. Not that she cared what he was saying. He was no better than some of the men she'd dated previously. At least he hadn't gotten violent with her yet.
Yet.
"Achilles, did something happen?" she asked, tilting her head curiously. The two of them looked at her, Achilles with a gentle look on his face and Hot Rod looking like he was about to blow.
"Hot Rod's just a little upset that we didn't say anything about getting together. Don't worry about it," he replied.
"But we've only been dating for a bit more than a week. Don't you keep the relationship a bit under wraps in case something goes horribly wrong in the first month? That way you don't have to explain the breakup to everyone."
She'd definitely used this strategy in the past, in two main ways. One: The way she said it. Two: Claiming she was in a new relationship that wasn't stable yet so her mom would get off her back about it. Right now, though, she had to play the stupid cutie.
"Is that a thing?" Achilles asked, frowning. Hot Rod just glowered at her.
"For me it has been," she replied. "Half the time he asks me out and then we break up two weeks later. It's just easier if I don't say anything to anyone in that time so I don't have to explain why we broke up."
Though it's always my fault somehow, she added bitterly to herself. Every time, her mom would list off the reasons Haven wasn't good enough and tell her to correct them. It was why she'd stopped telling her mom about all her relationships.
"Maiden!" Haven pulled back slightly when Achilles leaped forward and grabbed her hand, kneeling down like a knight or something.
"W-what?" she asked, trying to calm down her pounding heart. Seriously, where had this come from?
"I won't break up with you! Ever! No matter what, I'll stay by your side so you can proudly tell the world we're in love!"
Extreme. But okay. He'd change his tune eventually, but not until Haven slipped up. As long as she played her part as his perfect girl, he'd keep her around. Good.
"Thanks," she said, blushing and turning away. It wasn't entirely an act. Nobody had talked to her so...passionately before. Maybe back in high school, but that was ages ago and teenagers were completely unreliable.
"Okay we get it, you're lovebirds. Now can you stop making me wanna gag?" Hot Rod asked, folding his arms with a frown.
Are you sure it's not just that you wish you were the one with me on your arm? Haven thought, keeping her face bashful in front of Achilles. It wouldn't do to glare at Hot Rod and ruin the illusion she'd crafted.
"Apologies! We'll keep future lovey-dovey moments to private areas," Achilles said, standing and letting go of her hand.
Haven held back a laugh at his overly serious purity. Had he ever had a real girlfriend before? Just hearing she'd had previous breakups had been enough to make him swear eternal love to her - not that she could afford to buy it. Sometimes you got dumped out of nowhere, and she'd learned to be vigilant of that possibility.
"Maybe you two should just break up now," Hot Rod glowered.
Wasn't he just sore about the fact that she'd rejected him? Really, he was so petty.
"Never! Maiden and I are destined for each other. The Good Miracle Giver brought us together for this."
Sure. Whatever was convenient for him.
"Achilles," she murmured softly, blushing and turning away. Really, it was too much for her. If she wasn't careful, she'd burst into laughter at just how much he reminded her of a ham actor.
"Okay, have fun with your slut," Hot Rod said, waving at them as he left.
Haven looked shyly at Achilles, who pulled her into a hug. Really, he was too much. Part of her felt bad for deceiving him, but the other was happy he thought of her so highly.
Was this the first time someone had praised her so much? Affirmed her worth so easily?
Whatever the reason, she wanted to be the perfect girlfriend for him.
