4338.214.2 | Pregnant Anxiety

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Watching Dad take over the Drop Zone and Guardians, a complex mix of emotions churned within me. Relief was certainly among them, a sigh of respite that I no longer had to shoulder the entirety of this burden alone. Yet, there was also a nagging urge, almost instinctual, to step in and control every detail, to ensure that everything was handled precisely as I thought it should be. I stood a few steps away, my gaze fixed on him, an internal battle raging as I wrestled with this shift in dynamics, feeling like a captain hesitant to hand over the helm of his ship.

"Dad, are you sure you're comfortable with this?" My voice carried a note of concern, tinged with the underlying fear of what could go wrong. Handing over responsibilities was one thing, but entrusting him with the safety and order of our gateway to Clivilius, the very lifeline and point of chaos in our new world, was a leap of faith.

Dad turned towards me, his face a picture of calm determination, the kind that had always been his trademark back on Earth. "Paul, I've managed bigger projects back on Earth. I can handle this," he assured me, his voice steady and sure. His confidence was clear, unwavering even in the face of the unknown. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder if he fully grasped the unpredictability of our new environment, and the Guardians, whose actions we could scarcely anticipate.

I nodded, more to reassure myself than him. "Just remember, the Guardians can be unpredictable. Keep an eye out for them.” I motioned towards the sleeping Guardians, their peaceful slumber a stark contrast to the disarray of furniture and household items that surrounded them. It was a visual testament to the chaos they often brought, a chaotic tableau that belied the serene expressions on their faces. “Case in point,” I added with a hint of sarcasm, trying to inject a light note into the gravity of our conversation.

He chuckled, a sound that seemed out of place amidst the chaos, yet it was a welcome reminder of the resilience and adaptability that defined him. "I've dealt with my fair share of unpredictable folks in my time. Don't you worry." His words carried the weight of experience, a life lived among the complexities and challenges of Earth, now to be applied in the alien context of Clivilius.

Watching him start to organise the area, I felt a surge of pride mixed with lingering apprehension. It was an odd sensation, watching someone else take the reins of something I had grown so used to micromanaging. The Drop Zone, once my domain, was now under his care, and stepping back felt almost alien, like watching a piece of myself being rearranged by someone else's hand.

"Paul," Dad's voice pulled me from the whirlpool of my thoughts, a solid anchor amidst the sea of change. "Why don't you focus on that Project Manager role of yours? You've got a knack for it." His words, simple yet imbued with confidence in my abilities, brought a smile to my face. It was a reminder of where my strengths lay, and perhaps, an affirmation that it was time to let go of the reins in one area to better harness my abilities in another.

"Yeah, I suppose it's where I'm needed most now,” I found myself responding, the realisation settling in that my role was evolving, just as our camp was. As I walked away from the Drop Zone, the weight of responsibility began to shift, morphing into something new. It was time for me to embrace a different role, to guide the broader development of our camp, to see the bigger picture rather than getting lost in the minutiae.

Yet, as I glanced back at Dad, part of me itched to return and take over, to step back into the familiarity of control. It was a tug-of-war between the old and the new, between comfort and growth.

"Paul," I heard his voice again, a steady presence that drew my attention back. Turning around to meet his gaze, I noticed a playful smirk on his lips that lightened the mood, a hint of the camaraderie that had always existed between us. “I know what’s here,” he said, his voice tinged with humour as he gestured towards the scattered remnants of our household belongings. “But why don’t you give me more of a tour of the Drop Zone? I’m not familiar with what you’ve done with that.”

The request sparked growing enthusiasm within me. “Yeah, I can do that.” But just as I was about to lead the way, an embarrassingly loud rumble erupted from my stomach. I managed a half-serious chuckle, caught off guard by the sudden reminder of mundane needs amidst our extraordinary circumstances. “Let me go back to camp and get us some food first.”

Dad nodded in agreement, his own chuckle mingling with mine, the sound a comforting echo in the vastness of our new world. “Good idea,” he responded, his tone light and easy. He playfully rubbed his stomach, adding, “Nothing heavy though. Mum says I need to watch my figure.”

His humorous remark brought a genuine smile to my face, momentarily easing the weight of responsibility. In that moment, the complexities of our situation seemed a little less daunting. It was a reminder that, despite the upheaval and the unknowns, some things remained the same—like the bond between father and son, and the lightness that humour could bring to even the most challenging circumstances.


Standing amid the aftermath of our Big W raid, breakfast in hand, I couldn't help but feel a sense of overwhelming contradiction. The vast array of items spread before us painted a vivid picture of both bounty and disarray. Clothing, bedding, kitchen utensils, and an assortment of food supplies were strewn haphazardly, some spilling from the brim of overloaded trolleys onto the dusty ground of Clivilius. The sight was a tangible testament to our resourcefulness, a bold strike against the scarcity that threatened our new existence. Yet, it also served as a stark reminder of the challenges that lay ahead in organising our new world, a visual metaphor for the fine line we walked between survival and chaos.

Dad, surveying the scene with a critical eye, broke the contemplative silence. "This is quite the haul, Paul. But where are we going to store all of this?" His voice carried a mix of admiration for what we had managed to accomplish and concern for the practicalities that followed. It echoed the thoughts swirling in my own mind, amplifying the logistical puzzle we now faced.

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the tension of unanswered questions and uncharted territories. "That's the problem. We’re running out of space. The Food Shed can only hold so much, and the Tool Shed will be full soon enough with the construction gear.” The words came out laden with the weight of responsibility, a verbal acknowledgment of the bottleneck we were fast approaching. Each item, while a symbol of our resilience and adaptability, also represented a piece of the larger puzzle of how to sustain not just our survival but our growth.

He nodded, his thoughtful gaze lingering on the chaotic assortment of goods that lay before us. It was a scene of controlled mayhem, a visual cacophony of our lives in transition. “We need more than just sheds. We need a proper storage solution. Something bigger.” His words resonated with me, echoing the nascent solution that had been quietly forming in the back of my mind, unspoken yet increasingly urgent.

“I’ve been thinking the same. We might need to consider building a warehouse or something similar. A central place to store and organise everything.” The idea, now voiced, seemed to take on a life of its own, growing more tangible with each spoken word. It was a vision of order amidst chaos, a beacon of efficiency in the sprawling disarray of our nascent settlement.

Dad’s agreement was reassuring, a verbal nod that we were on the right path. “Makes sense. It would make managing supplies a lot easier. Plus, it could serve as a distribution centre for the camp.” His words painted a picture of the future, one where our current struggles were mitigated by foresight and planning, where the jigsaw of survival fit together a little more seamlessly.

I looked over the piles of goods, my mind already sketching the outlines of a large, organised structure that could accommodate our growing inventory. “Yeah, a warehouse could be the solution. But it’s going to be a big project. We’ll need to plan it carefully.” The thought was daunting, the scale of the task ahead immense. Yet, there was an underlying current of excitement at the challenge, at the prospect of creating something enduring and foundational from the ground up.

Dad’s hand on my shoulder brought a moment of comfort, a tangible reminder of the support that underpinned our efforts. “Well, if anyone can manage it, it’s you. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders for this sort of thing.” His confidence in me was a balm to the trepidation that nibbled at the edges of my resolve, sparking a small flame of determination within me.

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll start drawing up some plans.” The words were a commitment, a promise to myself as much as to him. “In the meantime, let's focus on sorting through this stuff. We need to categorise everything and find temporary storage solutions until the warehouse is up.” The task was monumental, a herculean effort to impose order on the chaos, but it was a necessary first step. Each item, each piece of our past and present, would find its place in the puzzle of our new life.

My thoughts of a grand warehouse, grandiose and structured, were abruptly cut short as I noticed Kain approaching. His brisk walk and earnest expression sliced through the morning calm like a sharp breeze, signalling an urgency that immediately captured my attention. There was something about his approach, the way his determination seemed to propel him forward, that signalled he was bearing news – and by the look on his face, it wasn't just any news but something significant, perhaps even momentous.

“Paul, I've got news,” he blurted out as soon as he was within earshot, his expression a turbulent mix of excitement and apprehension. It was a look that set off alarms in my mind, a prelude to a revelation that promised to ripple through the fabric of our current reality.

“What’s up?” I asked, my response automatic as I gave Dad a cautious glance. That glance was a silent signal, an acknowledgment of the potentially grave situation unfolding before us, a shared moment of preparation for whatever Kain was about to reveal.

“It’s about Brianne, my fiancée. She’s... she’s coming to Clivilius. Today!” Kain's words spilled out in a torrent, his eyes wide, reflecting a storm of emotions: excitement at the prospect of reunion, concern for what it meant in our unpredictable environment.

Today? The news sent a jolt through me, a mix of surprise and immediate concern. “Wait, Brianne’s coming here? Today?” I echoed, my voice laced with disbelief. The implications of his statement began to whirl chaotically in my mind, a storm of questions and concerns brewing with increasing intensity. “But she’s pregnant, right? How far along is she?” The added detail of her pregnancy, with its inherent risks and necessities, compounded the complexity of the situation, layering concern upon concern.

Kain’s response did little to quell the whirlwind of anxiety that had begun to take hold. “Yeah, she’s in her third trimester,” he said, the weight of his worry tangible in the air between us. His confirmation, heavy with implications, painted a vivid picture of the challenges and risks involved. The third trimester – a critical time, fraught with both anticipation and apprehension.

A pregnant woman in Clivilius, and so far along? The news struck me with a force that momentarily stilled the constant whirl of activity in my mind. My thoughts raced, conjuring up a myriad of concerns and challenges that seemed to multiply with each passing second. “Kain, we’re not equipped for this. We don’t even have a doctor here,” I pointed out, the reality of our unpreparedness pressing down on me like a physical weight. The notion of providing adequate care, of ensuring safety and health in our makeshift community, suddenly felt like an insurmountable task.

Kain's hand ran through his hair, a gesture that spoke volumes of his inner turmoil and desperation. “I know, I know. I’ve already talked to Luke about it. He thinks we can manage.” His words, meant to reassure, instead echoed in my head, sounding more like a desperate hope than a solid plan.

“Manage?” The word reverberated in my mind, its inadequacy magnifying my concerns. “Kain, this is serious. We need to think about prenatal care, a place for her to stay...” The list of potential complications began to mount in my head, each one adding to a growing sense of dread. The implications of bringing a pregnant woman into our fledgling settlement, with its lack of medical facilities and professionals, were daunting. The very thought of it brought a surge of anxiety, a fear of the unknown and the potentially unforeseeable consequences.

Kain’s nod, which usually exuded confidence and assurance, now seemed burdened with the weight of the world. “I get it, Paul. But it’s happening. Luke’s bringing her through the Portal today.” His words, definitive and final, cut through the haze of my worries, grounding me back to the reality of our situation.

His confirmation, while expected, set off a flurry of activity in my brain. Questions raced through my mind, each demanding attention and action. How would we handle this? What if there were complications? The camp, our nascent home, was on the brink of facing a challenge unlike any we had encountered before. The arrival of Brianne, pregnant and vulnerable, not only highlighted the limitations of our current setup but also underscored the urgent need for more comprehensive planning and resources.

Realising the urgency of the situation, I took a deep breath, trying to centre myself amid the chaos that threatened to overwhelm. This was a moment that required clarity and decisiveness, qualities that I often found challenging, yet rewarding, under pressure. My focus sharpened as I turned back to Dad, ready to tackle the immediate logistical hurdles head-on. "Okay, first things first. We need to clear the area near the Portals. Luke seems to have a habit of accompanying the people he brings with a vehicle, so we’ll need the space.” The words came out more confidently than I felt, a facade of control in the face of uncertainty.

“And Beatrix is bringing us more motorhomes, right?” Kain’s interjection added another layer to the logistical puzzle we were already struggling to solve. His reminder was timely, yet it served to complicate the situation further.

“Ah, that’s right. I forgot about that aspect,” I admitted, the realisation causing my thoughts to scatter once more. The addition of more motorhomes meant our planning had to be even more meticulous. “We’ll definitely need the space near the Portals cleared, then.” The statement was an acknowledgment of the growing complexity of our situation

Dad, already a figure of action amidst the cluttered Drop Zone, paused to assess the situation. "More motorhomes? Alright, but where do you want us to put all of our house belongings?" His question, practical and to the point, highlighted the immediate challenge of space management. He gestured towards the space, already brimming with items from our Big W raid and the remnants of our past lives, a tangible representation of the challenge at hand.

Scanning the area, I contemplated the immediate challenge, trying to visualise a solution amidst the disarray. "For now, just move everything to the side. We need to keep the space directly in front of the Portals clear. It's crucial for safety, especially with the Guardians driving vehicles through." My instructions were clear, born out of necessity. The safety of everyone, including the incoming residents and the Guardians themselves, was paramount. The task was daunting, the responsibility heavy, but it was a necessary step in preparing for what was to come.

Dad nodded, his expression reflecting an understanding of the urgency, yet underscored by a layer of concern that seemed to add weight to his next words. "I’ll get right on it. But, Paul, we really need to think about long-term storage solutions," he cautioned, his voice tinged with the kind of concern that comes from experience, from knowing the pitfalls of temporary fixes all too well.

"I know, Dad. We’re working on it. The construction of the sheds is just the beginning," I reassured him, even as the pressure of finding a sustainable solution weighed heavily on my shoulders. It was a delicate balancing act, managing the immediate needs while planning for the future, and his reminder served as a sobering anchor to the reality of our situation.

"And speaking of sheds, what about the one we finished yesterday? What’s its purpose?" Dad's question pierced the fog of my concerns.

"It’s a Food Shed," I replied, the words coming with a sense of pride in our small but significant achievement. I explained our plan for storage, laying out the vision for how we intended to manage our resources. "But we need another one for tools, especially with all the construction going on." The statement was as much an acknowledgment of our current priorities as it was a nod to the necessity of forward-thinking in our planning.

Dad nodded in approval, his response a brief but impactful affirmation. "Good thinking. That'll help keep things organised." His approval was a rare commodity, one that I cherished, especially in moments of uncertainty. It bolstered my confidence, reminding me that while the path ahead was fraught with challenges, we were moving in the right direction.

I added, “Until we have specific places for everything, like the Food Shed, just keep moving stuff to the Drop Zone. We’ll sort it out from there." The words were a stopgap, a temporary measure to manage the chaos, but they also represented a promise of progress, of a future where chaos gave way to order.

Dad's next concern brought a more personal dimension to the forefront, a reminder that our challenges weren't just logistical but deeply human. "You know, I’m happy to manage the affairs here, but I don’t want to put my back out moving all this. Last thing we need is me laid up in bed for days." His words were light, tinged with a self-aware humour, but the underlying concern was clear. The physical toll of setting up our new life in Clivilius was something we hadn't fully reckoned with.

"Don’t worry, I'll send Jerome to help you out," I assured him, keenly aware of his physical limitations and the need to prevent any unnecessary strain. Jerome, with his youthful energy and strength, was the obvious choice to assist, ensuring that Dad could oversee the operation without overexerting himself.

He smiled, a small gesture that spoke volumes. It was an expression of relief, gratitude, and a touch of pride in our collective effort to adapt and support one another. "That would be great. And what about Charles and your mum?" His inquiry, casual as it might have seemed, was his way of ensuring that everyone had a role, that the burden of our new life was shared equally among us.

“They'll be busy too. We’ve got plenty for them to do,” I replied with a hint of amusement, my mind already running through the list of tasks that needed attention. Our new life required all hands on deck, and there was no shortage of work to be done. The shared workload not only ensured our survival but also strengthened our bond as a family, each of us contributing in our own way to the collective effort.

As Dad began organising the Drop Zone with renewed purpose, I took a moment to appreciate his adaptability and resilience. His involvement was more than just crucial; it was inspirational, a testament to his commitment to making Clivilius not just survivable, but liveable.


The busy atmosphere at the Portals and Drop Zone was a hive of activity, a constant buzz that underscored the importance of efficient task delegation among my family. With Dad taking on a significant role, ensuring his well-being became my top priority. It was clear that everyone needed to play their part, contributing to the collective effort to make our settlement more organised and liveable.

Finding Jerome first, lounging by the campfire with Lois, was a stroke of luck. His relaxed posture and the easy manner in which he interacted with the dog epitomised the carefree attitude I momentarily envied but knew I needed to harness for the tasks at hand.

“Jerome, I need your help,” I said, my approach deliberate, making sure my voice carried the weight of the responsibility I was about to entrust to him. His demeanour shifted perceptibly as he caught the gravity in my tone, a testament to his ability to adapt when needed.

“What’s up?” he asked, his body language changing as he straightened up, the casual air that surrounded him moments ago replaced by a focused attentiveness. It was a transformation I appreciated, knowing that the situation required seriousness.

I crouched down beside Lois, who greeted me with enthusiastic tail wags, a momentary distraction from the task at hand. As I scratched behind her ears, I explained the situation to Jerome. “Dad’s clearing the area near the Portals, and he’s going to need help moving stuff to the Drop Zone. I don’t want him to strain his back,” I said, my gaze shifting between Lois's joyful reaction and Jerome’s now contemplative face.

Jerome let out a resigned sigh, the sound carrying a weight that was uncharacteristic of his usual carefree demeanour. Yet, as he nodded, there was a rare glimpse of responsibility in his eyes, a sign that he understood the gravity of the situation and his role in it. “Alright, I’ll head over there now.” His words, simple and to the point, were a reassurance, a promise of action.

“Thanks. And keep an eye on him, will you? Make sure he doesn’t lift anything too heavy,” I urged, my concern for Dad's wellbeing prompting me to stand as I spoke. It was a request that went beyond mere physical assistance; it was about ensuring the safety and health of someone integral to our collective survival.

As Jerome got to his feet, a momentary distraction came in the form of Lois. He glanced at her, a softness in his eyes. “Oh, can Lois come with me?” His question, while seemingly trivial, underscored the bonds that he quickly formed with animals.

“Sure,” I responded with a shrug, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as my mood lightened momentarily. “If she wants to, that is,” I added, watching Lois roll over, her request for more belly rubs a moment of levity in the midst of our many challenges.

“She wants to,” Jerome said confidently, a grin spreading across his face as he coaxed Lois to follow him.

I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound a rare release of tension, as I watched them walk away. Jerome, once the embodiment of youthful indifference, now took on a mantle of responsibility with our most enthusiastic volunteer in tow. If enlisting Lois's help was what it took to get Jerome working, then so be it. I stood there for a moment longer, my heart a little lighter, amused and heartened by the unlikely duo heading towards the Portals. It was, by all accounts, a small victory in the grand scheme of things. Yet, in Clivilius, where uncertainty was the only certainty, every bit counted, every step forward mattered. This was a reminder of that, a reminder of the small joys and victories that fuelled our journey, binding us together as we built our new life, one step, one belly rub, one task at a time.


With Jerome now on his way to assist Dad, my focus shifted towards enlisting the help of the rest of our family. I found Charles and Mum near their motorhome, a scene that encapsulated the dichotomy of our new life: the vast, unfamiliar backdrop of Clivilius against the small, intimate setting of our family’s temporary home. Mum stood there, her posture betraying a sense of being slightly overwhelmed by the drastic change in her surroundings, a stark contrast to the familiar comforts of her previous home.

“Mum, Charles, I have a task for you,” I began, my voice carrying a mix of hope and determination. I wanted to engage them in the camp's collective effort, to involve them in a task that, while mundane, was crucial for our settlement’s organisation. “We’ve got a lot of house stuff that needs to be moved from the Portals to the Drop Zone. It’s our main storage area for now.” The explanation was straightforward, but I could see the wheels turning in Mum’s mind as she processed the request.

Mum’s face reflected uncertainty, a hint of worry creasing her brow as she contemplated the task. “Is that where your father is?” she inquired, her voice tinged with concern. It was clear she was weighing the necessity of the task against her own apprehensions about our new environment.

“Yeah,” I responded, trying to inject a note of reassurance into my voice. “You know Dad, he’s not particularly good at sitting still.” It was a small attempt to lighten the mood, to remind her of Dad’s unchanging nature amidst everything that had changed.

“No, he’s not,” Mum replied, her tone thoughtful, yet tinged with a hint of resignation. She glanced at Charles, who, in stark contrast, looked utterly disinterested, his boredom palpable even from a distance. It was a moment that highlighted the varying ways each of us was coping with our new reality.

“Charles, go and help your father,” Mum commanded, her voice carrying an authority that took me by surprise. It was a regular moment of decisiveness from her, even though she didn’t seem eager to join the task herself immediately. Her command, however, was a clear indication of her understanding of the situation’s seriousness, even if her own readiness to dive into the work was still catching up.

Charles let out a groan, his reluctance clear and unmasked. “Do I have to?” His words were a reflection of the inertia that seemed to grip him, a resistance not just to the task at hand but perhaps to the broader reality of our situation.

“Yes,” Mum’s reply was firm, unequivocal.

Trying to inject some motivation into the situation, I mentioned, “Jerome is there with Lois.” I hoped the mention of Jerome, and especially Lois, might spark a bit of interest in Charles, maybe lighten the mood or at least distract from the reluctance that seemed to hang over him like a cloud.

Charles’s expression, however, remained decidedly unenthused. It was clear that neither the prospect of joining Jerome nor the company of Lois was enough to stir him from his inertia.

Mum’s concern, ever-present, resurfaced with a pointed question. “What exactly does your father need help with? He’s not moving all of those trolleys we saw, is he? You know how his back gets.” Her voice was laced with worry, a reflection of her deep-seated fears about Dad overexerting himself, a concern that seemed to momentarily eclipse everything else.

Realising I hadn’t fully explained the situation, I took a moment to clarify. “Oh, Luke, Beatrix, and Jarod brought the entire contents of your home here last night.”

Mum gasped, her eyes widening in shock. The revelation seemed to hit her all at once.

“Everything?” Charles’s voice cut through the air, his tone suddenly shifting from disinterested to intrigued. It was the first sign of genuine interest I’d seen from him since the conversation began.

“Everything,” I emphasised, sensing an opportunity to leverage his newfound motivation. It was a small window, but I was willing to take whatever I could get at this point.

With a sudden burst of energy, Charles took off towards the Drop Zone, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. It was an abrupt change in demeanour, one that caught me by surprise.

“I’m guessing there’s something there he wants,” I said with a laugh, my amusement at his sudden about-face breaking through the tension of the moment.

“Charles always wants something,” Mum grumbled under her breath, her tone carrying a touch of negativity that seemed to shadow her for as long as I can remember.

I frowned, wishing she could find even a sliver of positivity in our situation. Without another word, Mum stepped inside the motorhome and closed the door behind her. Her action was a silent testament to her reluctance to fully engage with our new life, her discomfort with the unknown palpable in every gesture.

She’s going to be a tough one, I sighed heavily, a mixture of concern and determination settling within me. It was clear that not everyone was adjusting at the same pace, and some, like Mum, might need more time and support to come to terms with her new life.

Turning away, I contemplated my next move. The camp, awakened by the day’s challenges, was becoming a beehive of activity, a constant buzz of movement and work. There was still so much to do, and my list of responsibilities seemed to grow by the minute. It was a daunting prospect, but one I knew we had to face head-on. Our survival, our ability to thrive in Clivilius, depended on it.

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